What it would look like if we took song lyrics literally
How many times has this happened to you: You’re sitting in the car, listening to the radio when suddenly, an outlandish song lyric wriggles its way into your brain. Within seconds, your mind has devised its very own limited-edition music video — but you haven’t got a cast, a crew or any locations — you’ve just got some weird imagery bumping up against every corner of your brain.
You see, I’ve attempted to interpret strange, nonsensical lyrics alone in my head, but it’s not that satisfying. I mean, when Drake tells me that he’s “on a roll like Cottonelle,” I don’t simply want to enjoy the image of him sitting atop of roll of toilet paper, I want to share it!
That said, I’ve decided to break down a few noteworthy song lyrics by drawing them in their simplest, most literal form. Spoiler alert: you’ll get to see just how crazy Beck gets with the Cheez Whiz.
From: “Spiderwebs” – No Doubt
If you didn’t at least consider using this lyric from “Spiderwebs” as your answering machine message back in the day, you may not have been old enough to have this as an option. As much as I wanted to walk into spiderwebs with Gwen, screaming on phone calls is still something I hope to avoid.
From: “All Me” – Drake
Who doesn’t love it when Drake likens himself to baby-soft toilet paper?
From: “Monster” – Nicki Minaj, Kanye West
I’m certain that Nicki Minaj intended for this lyric to be some sort of allusion wealth, but look at those pockets eating cheesecake. Aren’t they endearing?
From: “Loser” – Beck
What constitutes as getting “crazy with the Cheez Whiz”? This, I think. Aside from this classic line, “Loser” is chock full of crazy imagery that we’ll have to revisit another time (e.g. “my time is a piece of wax, falling on a termite who’s choking on the splinters”).
From: “Southern Hospitality” – Ludacris
I know, “bows” is short for elbows in this context, but I think we can all agree that it’s a lot nicer to spontaneously throw ACTUAL bows instead of elbows.
From: “Machinehead” – Bush
It must feel pretty good to have a machinehead better than the rest, right? Granted, machineheads are still a lyrical mystery to most of us, but I’m pretty sure this is something to be proud of.
From: “Pound Cake” – Jay-Z, Drake
Who needs karats when you’ve got carrots? Jay-Z got extra fashion forward when he wrapped one of the world’s most iconic desserts around his neck in “Pound Cake.” How he managed this, I’ll never know.