internet cafe bangkok thailand
Credit: Patrick AVENTURIER/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images

Although this sounds like the introduction to a lame joke, we promise it isn’t, but here goes: A snake entered an internet café in Thailand, and what happened next is even scarier. As Mashable points out, the snake tried its best to bite a man, but it was no match for the human dropkick. We know, we know: This can’t be real life, right? Ohh, but it is.

Thanks to these slithering, sneaky creatures, no longer are the world’s internet cafés or random people’s toilets off-limits from giant snake sightings because they clearly have no concern about whether the establishments they stalk and terrify are actually serpent-friendly.

Not only was this rat snake in question an obvious trespasser, it went and behaved all rudely about the entire situation by flinging its body through the doorway instead of quietly slithering in like a normal limbless reptile.

The surveillance footage shared on YouTube shows the snake shocking the hell out of the unsuspecting café customers in the Wiset Chai Chan District of Thailand’s Ang Thong province. Apparently, most rat snakes are non-venomous, but when it comes flying at you like this, it doesn’t really matter.

Here’s another clip with multiple angles, in case you’re not horrified enough.

We honestly can’t imagine how we would’ve responded in a situation like this, but these customers’ ill-coordinated, body-flailing freakouts seem to be right on the money.

Absolutely no one (other than a certified snake expert) could argue that running, screaming, kicking and accidentally tripping over your own feet aren’t the most appropriate reactions to a scaly intruder interrupting the (paid) time you’re devoting to your daily Google searches.