Candace Ganger
May 25, 2016 1:41 pm

The thing that is so very great about New Girl is that it’s not just Jess who is a sensation. Nope, each and every character on the show is amazing. Everyone in the loft (and affiliated with the loft) has their own lovable, unique traits; such as grumpy-pants Nick Miller, awful prankster Winston, and not-so-sentimental Coach (who made it back for the season finale). Ultimately though, Schmidt (first name unknown), who wears his perfectionism as well as his croquet cleats, completely steals our heart. With his relatable references to being an overweight child, to his off-the-wall quotes such as “Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape!” And “Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!” It’s easy to understand why he’s put the most money into the infamous Douchebag Jar yet, but his ability to embrace his quirks make him that much more lovable.

To celebrate all things Schmidt, here are some of his linguistic quirks that never cease to make us LOL. Never change Schmidt-y, never change.

1. The way he refers to bathtubs as “Medieval filth cauldrons.” 

You and I might know them as “bathtubs,” but Schmidt would never stoop to such unhygienic levels.

2. His frequent use of the word “chutney.”  

Schmidt manages to say the word “chutney” a lot more than the average person says chutney. When Schmidt talks about chutney, adding a whole extra syllable to make it “chuht-uh-nee.” He totally makes us want to integrate the word chutney into our daily lives.

3. His insistence on calling young people, “youths.” 

You can’t watch New Girl without remembering Schmidt’s perfect word to describe underage kids in the neighborhood. Youths, you say? Not in Schmidt’s world. More like “yoothes.” And to him, they’re dangerous.

4. His very vocal love for his “‘mono.” 

Part of Schmidt’s schtick is cutting a word in half when you’d least expect it. Who needs a “kimono” when you can just call it a “‘mono?” Plus, he groups it as “leisure wear” so this is a win-win all-around.

5. His excellent tagline, “Schmidt happens.”

Ever want to make your name a victorious insult? Schmidt has mastered that, and done so beautifully.

6. His refusal to acknowledge Jay Cutler. 

Sometimes sports references go over people’s heads. Schmidt knows that, and it’s totally okay.

7. His impeccable pronunciation of the word imbecile. 

Pronounced “Im-buh-SILE” when trying to ‘dis someone.

8. The abbreviation, “sig oths.”

Sometimes “significant others” just takes too long to say. Especially when your “sched” is “tight,” like Schmidt’s.

9. The genius word, “scrummy.” 

A word Schmidt employs to describe how delicious his sushi is. Scrumptious + yummy. Genius

10. The continual use of the adjective, “nectar.”

In use: That skull ring you just purchased is nectar (i.e. choice or cool).

11. This acronym: “LLS.”

“Ladies Love Schmidt.” Need we say more?

12. “Pawpin’.” Another very important adjective.  

When your outfit is tight, or “poppin’.”


13. “Quassant.”

 The type of blog Schmidt wants to start. The Schmidt way of saying croissant.