Ok, so maybe not everyone chronicles their first kisses like they are legends which will be passed down through generations (in my case, his name was Ben and it was outside the Boys and Girls Club and he never spoke to me again, but it changed me forever), but you do at least hope people remember the big moments?

Not so with Rupert Grint, aka Ron Weasley, whose on-screen first kiss with Emma Watson may have sped the heart rates of shippers, but seems to be something he would rather block out. In case you’ve forgotten what that rather titanic story moment looks like, here’s a reminder:

Speaking to PEOPLE at the “Celebration of Harry Potter”event at Universal Studios, Florida, Grint remembers the scene by not remembering it.”I never look back at that scene,” he confessed. Perhaps fair enough — no one wants to critique their own kissing style on a 20 foot screen — but for the actor, the squeamishness isn’t just about performance. “I’ve known Emma since she was literally 9 years old and we had this very brother-sister relationship,” Grint continued. “And it just felt very surreal. I have a memory of her face getting closer and closer. Like, ‘Oh my God.’ I can’t really remember anything apart from that.”

He’s not alone in his awkward recounting of the event, which Grint and Watson will likely never fully escape. Speaking with MTV in 2009, Emma told her version of the story, and it’s pretty painful.“I ended up pouncing on Rupert,” she admitted. “I was so desperate to get it over. After the first take he was like, ‘Whoa, there! Where did that come from?’ I was like, ‘Sorry!'”

Luckily, despite their awkwardness, the actors nailed the scene in a single take, sparing them both death by anxiety. “One take was enough. It was such a huge moment and there was so much expectation,” Grint recalled.

We’re so glad that both actors have moved out of the awkward stage and survived the curse of the child actor to have successful post-Potter careers. Emma Watson, of course, is out there kicking ass for feminism practically daily, while Rupert Grint has a film, Moonwalkers, out this month.

(Image via Warner Bros., Giphy/Warner Bros.)