Kayleigh Roberts
April 03, 2016 10:46 am
Sony Pictures

Let’s just get right into it: Being flat-chested is actually the best thing in the world. As a former (and very temporary — thanks, birth control hormones!) 36C who is now a (much happier) 34A, I promise, it’s true. Here’s why:

You can run. 

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I mean, not that I do run. Running is awful, no matter what size bra you wear. But my back hurts just watching poor Kate Upton do it.

Since we’re on the topic of being active, basically any sport, workout or physical activity is easier. 

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Truth.

You never need to layer multiple bras to keep things in check when you’re going to be active. 

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Because god that sounds like a nightmare. I’m thankful every time I work out that I just need one simple sports bra.

And, TBH, the boob sweat situation is a lot more manageable when they’re small.

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It’s basic math. Boob sweat collects primarily in the under-boob region. Less under-boob = less boob sweat.

You could grow up to be a ballerina. 

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I mean, I’m 28 and I’m not going to be a ballerina, but it’s nice to know the option was there.

You could grow up to play Peter Pan in a musical. 

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Okay, again, I’m not saying I’d even want to, but it’s another career option for which flat-chested grownup ladies have a definite edge.

You could still grow up to be a doctor or a writer or a lawyer or a police officer or anything else you can imagine because bra size doesn’t actually matter for most things in life. 

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Duh.

Nothing looks too revealing on you.

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I could probably wear a bra out in public and people would say, “well that’s a cute mini-tank top you’re wearing.” My DD sister, on the other hand, looks like she needs to tone it down when she wears a t-shirt. I’m not saying I want to wear bras as outerwear, but I am saying that I like being able to throw on a simple t-shirt and know that if people look at my chest, it’s to read said t-shirt, and nothing else.

If you forget to wear a bra, there’s a decent chance only you will know. 

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And it feels like a magical, dangerous secret. Even though it’s really, 100% not.

Real talk: Your back is in such better shape than your chestier counterparts. 

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It’s worth having a smaller chest for this one alone.

There’s not a lot of competition to buy A cup bras, which means the style you want tends to be in stock. 

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Bra shopping is pretty much the worst no matter what size your boobs are, so anything that makes it take longer is terrible and anything that helps move it along faster is great.

And, perhaps most importantly, you can go to bed at night knowing that if you were Tatum in Scream, that character might have made it to Scream 2

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 Priorities, you know?

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