Gina Florio
August 17, 2016 6:00 am
Paramount Pictures

I don’t know about you, but one thing I never was in high school was popular. As for the kids who were popular, though, they’ll stay imprinted in my mind forever. Everything about them (from their slang to what they ate for lunch) became long-term memories, as myself and my peers tried really hard to replicate what we saw. Thankfully, all high schoolers grow up – but many questions remain. There’s so much I still want to know about the popular kids of my past…

1. Honestly, did you ever even like each other?

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It seemed to me like the popular kids spent most of their time gossiping about each other. They loved to talk crap about who was wearing what and who was dating who. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever heard one popular kid speak nicely about another popular kid behind their back. So, I really need to know, guys: Was there anyone they really, truly liked?

2. Where did you disappear to during all the school dances?

While I was busy being an awkward wallflower at pretty much every school dance, the cool kids were sneaking in and out of the building without catching the attention of any chaperones. I was convinced there was a secret “popular kids only” place they were going to, where they would get together and gossip even more about all the non-popular kids trying to dance with each other. Was it behind the bleachers? In the bathroom? In someone’s car?? After all these years, I still wonder.

3. Why did you hate school so much?!

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What was so bad about school and homework, anyway? I never understood why the popular kids would roll their eyes so much when we got assignments, or why they would look so moody when they walked into the classroom. I’d like to know what their reasons were for despising school that much – or maybe it was all just an act?

4. How did you get the science teacher to give you so many free passes?

Our biology teacher wouldn’t even let me turn in my homework a day late, so I’d love to know how they got a two-week extension on theirs. Was it purely because they were popular? Or did they bribe them somehow by sneaking in baked goods?

5. How long did it take you to get ready in the morning?

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They walked in looking impossibly polished every morning while I barely managed to grab two socks that matched each other. I would love to know how long it took for them to do their hair, their makeup, and choose their outfit. I mean, there had to be some long-winded effort that went into that whole process, right?

6. How often did you stuff your bra, really?

There’s no way they were naturally that much more developed than I was. My guess is that they had a secret method to stuffing their bra in a way that was so convincing people thought it was the real deal. Hey, more power to them. I wish I had figured it out a bit earlier.

But seriously – am I right about the whole stuffing-your-bra thing, popular kids? You probably just had bigger boobs that me, womp womp.

7. Did your parents ever catch you when you threw parties at your house while they were gone?

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If they truly had as many wild parties as they so claimed, there had to have come a time when they got totally busted by their parents coming home early from a weekend getaway. Not that I wanted them to get into trouble, but it had to happen at some point, didn’t it? Were they just too prideful to admit that in front of their popular friends?

8. Why didn’t you ever share your Gushers?!

Any cool kid at school in the ’90s ate Gushers. Or Fruit Roll-Ups. Yet, that elite group of popular kids only seemed to share these yummy snacks with each other. Were the rest of us really that uncool that they couldn’t pass around their huge pack of goodies? Why not share the love?

9. Were your sleepovers really as fun as you said they were?

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The sleepovers the popular crowd had sounded epic, so much so that anytime I had a friend over I was afraid they’d tell the cool kids how lame it was to hang out with me after school. I’d love to know, though: Were these sleepovers really the fun, truth-or-dare packed events they said they were?

10. Did you actually smoke as much as pot as you said you did?

I never even laid eyes on marijuana IRL until I got to college. This constantly left me wondering if the cool kids were just trying to hype up their drug intake to make themselves seem like rebels, or…were they really getting high every single weekend?

11. Would it have killed you to be a little nicer?

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Look, I know we were all trying to do our best to get through the nightmare that is high school, but there were some times when the popular kids were just downright mean. And that stuff stays with you until the day you die. So if I ever saw the senior prom king, queen, or their court again, I would ask them this – and then I’d ask if they wanted to give hanging out a second shot.

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