Jessica Ellis
December 13, 2015 7:50 am

Preschoolers are at an age where they’re learning to handle many things: coloring within the lines, shoe-tying, snack-sharing, but apparently when it comes to baby names, they are on top of it. Pre-K teacher Julie Siakpere, hailing from La Crosse, Wisconsin, learned that her classroom full of kiddies has hit advanced levels of naming-intelligence this week.

Siakpere, who is five months pregnant, had to miss a day of work for a doctors appointment. Her cheeky co-teacher, Amy, took the opportunity to discuss the importance of naming babies and ask the kids whether they thought Siakpere’s would be a boy or girl. Even better, she asked if the kids had any naming suggestions of their own.

What she got in return was this, an absolute barrage of adorableness and, honestly, some pretty awesome names for the modern world.

After a cousin posted the image on Reddit, it quickly went viral. Speaking to ABC News, Julie’s wife Abby said they’ve enjoyed the story. “I thought it was hilarious and apparently everybody else did too…I’m excited that this has gotten as big as it is.”

Julie, it seems, takes many of the suggestions as a bit on the silly side. “Being with four and five year olds is definitely an experience. Their personalities came out…We have some pretty funny kids.”

However, we aren’t so sure that some of the ideas aren’t perfect for a world in which there are now celebrity kids named Elsie Otter, Saint, and Apple. Let’s take a closer look at a few of these suggestions.

Elephant: Suggests gentle strength, adaptability, and a connection to a world of endangered species. Elephant would absolutely grow up to be an animal rights activist and someone you want to hug, but don’t want to cross.

Cindy Elf: No jokes on this one, this is freaking adorable. Cindy Elf would be the life of the Etsy-world we live in, with a personal style somewhere between 60s mod and North Pole. She would undoubtedly start an important charity to bring  holiday gifts to underprivileged kids.

Racecar: Look, Jason Lee has a son named Pilot Inspektor, so naming your kids in order to make them ridiculously cool is not a new thing. Racecar would be the most awesome kid, you would never have to worry about people not coming to his birthday parties. Underneath, though, would be a guy who saw the best in everyone and wanted, like Lightning McQueen at the end of Cars, to help others finish first with him.

Strawberry: Contrary to her name, Strawberry would grow up to be a Supreme Court Justice. Yes, she would also do organic gardening and collect 1st editions of European fairy tales, but she would know that a person isn’t defined by her name, however outlandish, and set out to prove it by becoming the most powerful woman named after fruit in history.

We think Ms. Siakpere and her wife would do well to consider all of these options, although Potato, Dog, and Grandma are probably still out.

(Image via Imgur.)

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