Jonathan Zipper
August 03, 2013 9:00 am

No! There is absolutely no way it could already be August. Except for the fact that it is. Those back-to-school commercials are about to multiply by a billion and clothing stores are fully stocked with fall (and winter?!) essentials. Guess we’ll just have to deal with it.

Whether you’re spending your final weeks of summer alongside the “Camp Gyno” or trying to land that dream job in time for the autumnal equinox (it’ll be okay if you don’t get it), make sure you’re finding opportunities to have a little fun! Hey, while you’re at it, soak up some WTF news with another edition of “The Week In WHAT?!

Spirits, Are You There?

Sad news, Ouija Board lovers. The spirits aren’t answering your deepest, darkest questions. It turns out all of you are responsible for making the cup move, and science can explain how it works. Prepare to be demystified by the ideomotor effect, which is essentially an unconscious physical response. For example, courtesy of Wikipedia, when someone is moved to tears by their emotions without making an active decision to cry. Unless this is all a ruse by the supernatural powers that be to throw us off their scent! J’accuse!

Hey Now, What’s That Sound?

Speaking of those who shall not be named, do you hear the hum? It’s all around us, but only a small percentage of the world’s population actively hears the sound. There are even full-fledged “hum zones” in various areas include Taos, N.M. and Bristol, England. It’s apparent enough that some educational institutions received grants to study local hums. The sound is practically the human equivalent of a dog whistle. Listen for yourself, but don’t blame us when you start noticing it in your everyday life…

http://youtu.be/EuRBM0i8mbI

Amelia Earhart Prepares To Take Flight

No, you didn’t just step into a vortex sending you back in time to 1937. A modern day thirty-something whose name is coincidentally Amelia Earhart announced her plans to follow in her namesake idol’s footsteps. The Denver traffic and weather anchor is actually a distant relative of the late aviatrix. Next summer, Earhart will reproduce the flight pattern of her ancestor’s tragic voyage, a feat some other female pilots have previously completed with flying colors. Of course, the historical connection makes Earhart’s attempt all the more special. Here’s hoping for a safe journey!

Re-Defining The Phrase “Potty Mouth”

There’s no easy, non-nausea inducing way to say this, so here it goes: a group of scientists in China are growing brand new teeth using urine. Human urine, just to be clear. It’s not like they’re scooping up random puddles of street pee. It’s one part “Ew!” and another part “Amazeballs!” The team harvests stem cells from the secreted fluid, and three weeks later those cells became “tooth-like structures” featuring dental pulp, dentin, enamel space and enamel organ. The jury’s still out on whether turning your bodily waste into a fresh set of veneers is the best method. It’s certainly the green way to go! Sorry, referring to colors was probably a mistake…

A Testament of Time

Holy Bible, Batman! Archaeologists recently discovered an artifact in Jerusalem that may be the key to unlocking the Old Testament. The 3,000 year old earthenware jug in question contains an inscription that researchers previously thought to be in the language of the Canaanites. However, one biblical scholar now believes the writing is an early form of Hebrew. If that’s the case, then the O.T. could be viewed as a real-time description of events rather than an ancient game of telephone. Before you go all Da Vinci Code on scripture, keep in mind that this is an as-of-yet unconfirmed theory.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via NewsOK.

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