Kenya Foy
August 09, 2016 10:20 am

For some reason, people tend to make fun of badminton. It certainly has some stiff competition among the more popular sports that begin with the letter B, but it kind of feels like the badminton slander is unwarranted. However, we don’t think we have the nerve to defend it to sportscaster Mary Carillo, whose epic rant about badminton during the 2004 Athens Olympics is the funniest, most face-palmy thing ever.

Jack Link's / giphy.com

The segment starts out innocently enough as Carillo explains the differences between the professional, grade-A badminton equipment used by Olympians and the dollar store version everyone else buys off the sale rack. Then, things start to get really weird. What begins as a tirade about Carillo’s complete and utter abhorrence for cheap shuttlecocks morphs into a three-minute meltdown about the woes of retrieving the piece of equipment from a tree.

Literally no one is safe from her wrath — not her kids, neighbors or well-meaning colleagues who may or may not have damaged her car in an effort to help (oopsies). In between fits of raucous laughter and a fair amount of discomfort that comes with watching a trainwreck in progress, we developed a couple theories about why Carillo dissed badminton with such unrelenting fervor.

For starters, she’s a former tennis player and badminton is largely regarded as tennis’ less cool cousin.

NBC / giphy.com

Also, it’s highly possible that Carillo was really pissed that the network expected her to fill up an entire three minutes analyzing Olympic badminton. Like, the Olympics involves a lot of coverage all the time; no one could reasonably expect to not…improvise a little to fill the dead air.

Either way, Carillo has sufficiently convinced us that the tiny piece of winged equipment was hand-crafted by the devil himself.

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