Dyana Goldman
December 30, 2015 9:20 am

Tis the season when the air is chill, and the perfect time for us gals to chill as well! Cozy up on the couch (preferably with a glass of wine) and get ready to laugh, cry, learn and be awed by these new show premieres that come out early next year. Mark your iCals for the start of these new series and get excited for all that 2016 has to bring, television-wise. This year, pick a resolution you can stick to: watch all nine of these new television shows.

Bordertown
Fox, January 3rd

Good things are worth the wait; first announced two years ago by Fox, Bordertown, a new animated comedy, joins Fox’s Sunday night lineup (aptly name “Animation Domination”) from guys who know how to do it well; it is written by Mark Hentemann and executive produced by Seth McFarlane, both of the Family Guy fame. This satirical comedy is beyond relevant in today’s political climate; the show paints a world in which ethnic minorities in America have become the majority. Bordertown is about two families—the Buckwalds and the Gonzalezes—who live on the U.S.-Mexican border. Bud Buchwald is a border control agent who is slightly threatened by the success of his Mexican neighbor, Ernesto Gonzalez, who is living the American Dream. Friendships will form and comedy will ensue.

Pitch Slapped
Lifetime, January 5th

The name alone sold us. For all you Pitch Perfect fans out there, and let’s be honest, who doesn’t love Pitch Perfect, this show is the real life version of the competitive world of acapella groups. The eight episode docs-series follows two competing New Jersey high school acapella groups, Stay Tuned and The Voices. Viewers can watch them go head to head in weekly clashes all leading up to a champion sing off. Even from this brief clip, we are blown away by this competitor’s beatboxing—we can’t wait to hear more!

My Diet Is Better Than Yours
ABC, Thursday, January 7th

As Biggest Loser addicts, ABC’s new weight loss show My Diet Is Better Than Yours has our interest piqued. What better time than the new year to focus on our health? This show looks like we can learn a lot from the different celebrity trainers that will coach overweight Americans to lose weight and get in shape. With a new hot diet coming out every other day, it’s enough to leave a poor girl’s head spinning, wondering, what am I supposed to eat? No carbs? All carbs? Dairy is good, right? Dairy is the devil! Help me! In this show, trainers will implement different diets and fitness routines for their contestants. Contestants will also have the option to vote out their trainers–a bit of a twist for this type of competitive weight loss show! Get ready to be motivated–we may even watch this one on the treadmill!

Angie Tribeca
TBS, January 17th

We all know television has no shortage of procedural cop shows, but a procedural cop show that is a satirical comedy from none other than our beloved Steve Carell (and his wife, Nancy)… now we’re interested! It’s more slapstick than the seemingly similar Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and it stars Rashida Jones, who we have been missing since we said goodbye to one of television’s great sitcoms, Parks and Recreation. Angie Tribeca has already been picked up for a second season ahead of its premier, which in the world of television means “this show is good!” The first ten episodes will be aired in a 25-hour event, with each episode airing back to back, five times over. Note to self: cancel all plans on January 17th.

Chelsea Does
Netflix, January 23rd

A woman whose humor always felt stifled on cable now will have free reign to be who she truly is in her new, four part documentary series on Netflix. This is a new angle for Ms. Chelsea (aw, we miss you Chuy); Chelsea told PEOPLE magazine “What I am doing for Netflix is vastly different from what I did on E!… I am using my brain and working with great directors and producers. I am not being outrageous. I am going to give viewers a younger, cooler 60 Minutes.” After watching the trailer we can see how Chelsea is going in no holds barred—mocking stereotypes, social norms and expectations, and being her truthful and blunt self! Each episode of the series covers a different topic: marriage, racism, Silicon Valley and drugs. The trailer says that “the truth is a funny thing” and we are ready to watch because we can handle the truth!

American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson
FX, February 2nd

Even if you were too young to understand what was going on, you most likely have heard about the O.J. Simpson trial and the sensationalism that swept the country in 1990. Now, Ryan Murphy (The brains behind Glee, American Horror Story and Scream Queens) has created an anthology series that focuses on a different true crime story each season.  This first season focuses on the trial of O.J. Simpson and after seeing the trailer which hauntingly tells us “the trial wasn’t the whole story,” we are more than intrigued. This season also has an all-star cast including Cuba Gooding Jr., David Schwimmer and John Travolta.

Those Who Can’t
TruTV, February 11th

TruTV, a network we aren’t too well-versed in, has made a move in the right direction with Those Who Can’t, the network’s first scripted comedy series. Those Who Can’t follows three extremely immature high school teachers who are in no way the people you would want teaching your children! The pilot script originally sold to Amazon, where it got the highest ratings out of any of Amazon’s first waves of original programming. Yet, for reasons unbeknownst to us, Amazon did not go forward to make the comedy but instead passed it on to TruTV; they tested the show and it did so well with focus groups that the network ordered 10-episodes. And, they have already ordered a second season ahead of the first season premiere, a major vote of confidence for this show. The show was created by Adam Clayton-Holland, Andrew Orvedahl and Ben Roy, who are all part of the Denver-based comedy troupe Grawlix. If its creators—who are also the stars of the show—are any indicator of the comedy we will see in this series, you better use the restroom, because this show will be pee-in-your-pants funny.

Vinyl
HBO, February 14th

This Valentine’s Day, take a trip back to the time of sex, drugs and rock and roll with this new show from heavy hitters Martin Scorseses, Mick Jagger and Terrance Winter. Vinyl is a 1970s music business drama starting Bobby Cannavale as a record executive trying to get his company back on the scene. The trailer shows Scorseses’ ability to capture beautiful shots while having a frenetic energy that keeps viewers engaged. Random trivia fact: Mick Jagger and Marty Scorseses (we can call him Marty, right?) was originally intended for the big screen to be produced by Disney before it got taken to Paramount and then eventually to HBO where it morphed into a television series that we will for sure be checkin’ out. And, we are doubly as excited for what we expect to be a killer soundtrack.

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
TBS, Premieres sometime in February (exact date TBD)

And this February, her wishes (and ours) come true! A master of political satire, we know this fearless female is going to knock it out of the park.

(Image via Comedy Central)

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