Marie Lodi
December 12, 2014 12:45 pm

Break out your most offensive holiday garb because the day we’ve all been waiting for is here! That’s right, it’s National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day! Maybe you’re one step ahead of us and have already begun slicing up the cheese logs for your Ugly Christmas Sweater festivities tonight. Maybe, the best Christmas song in the world, “All I Want For Christmas is You” by our girl Mariah C. is turned up loud on your Spotify, and your Beyoncé sweater is freshly-pressed and ready to party.

But maybe you have some Ugly Sweater Parties to drop in on and you still haven’t gotten your little paws on the perfect hideous sweater yet. Well, we’ve got you covered girl. Here are a few of our very favorites.

When your first gaze upon this sapphire-hued work of art, you may think it’s too cute to be considered an ugly sweater. But please get your monocle and look closer because this sweater has all the tacky appliqués you can dream of: sequin, ribbons, rhinestones . . . and is that a tiny bell?

Knit Christmas Sweater, $17.95

If you ever watched that creepy stop-motion Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer special as a kid, this sweater might remind you of one very special abominable snowman. Shudders.

Yeti Christmas Sweater, $64.95

Now we can celebrate the holidays with our favorite ’80s cartoon, Jem and the Holograms! The only thing that would make this sweater even better is if there was a sweater that featured Jem’s archenemies, The Misfits! Commence Googling, now.

Jem and the Holograms Faux Christmas Sweater, $35

Aww, are these two ornaments flirting with each other? Now all you need is one of those mistletoe headbands.

Christmas Ornaments Sweater, $15

Sweaters that light up take holiday vulgarity to new heights. As for added accessories you’ll for realz need one of these christmas light necklaces.

Light Up Everything Ugly Sweater, $44.99

Next time you reach for one of your mom’s famous homemade gingerbread cookies, know that this is the torture those cinnamon-flavored men are really feeling. Sorry if I ruined that for you.

Gingerbread Sweater, $44.95

Perhaps you’ve already got your elf-print leggings on and want to go for something more subtle on the top? Then this sweet little Christmas tree pullover is perf.

Holiday Bell and Tree Sweater, $22.90

When the mythical creature that is known as Bigfoot was spotted out in the wilderness many years ago, who would have thought he’d someday be emblazoned on this amazing Sasquatch sweater? You’ve got a good chance at winning any ugly sweater contest in this number.

Bigfoot Ugly Sweater, $79.99

They say that reindeers are known to persuade humans with their hypnotizing eyes. So have someone gaze into the eyes of Rudolph, while you whisper your Christmas wish list to them. JK, but it might still be worth a shot for a new pair of shoes . . .

Rudolph Xmas Sweater, $15.72 

Poor Grandma. She’s always getting run over by a reindeer! This sweater is simply LOLZ. And kind of mean. But still LOLZ.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Sweater, $64.95

Advertisement