14 stages of letting your nails dry
1. Carefully closing the bottle
This is step one, and it’s very important. You don’t want your nail polish to dry out, right? You also don’t want to accidentally knock the bottle over, and end up with nail polish all of yourself, the floor, the wall, everything, etc.
2. Admiring them for the first time
Look at those 10 shiny nails! Job well done.
3. Casually blowing on them
This is almost a reflex, if not a natural instinct. Air makes things dry faster, so obviously you’re going to gently blow on your fingers, in hopes that this age old practice works. (Even though you know it doesn’t work as well as it should.)
4. Tapping on one nail gently with your finger
The first time you do this, you’ll think, “oh awesome, they’re dry!” But you’ll doubt yourself, so you tap again harder, and leave behind a fresh fingerprint mark. Sigh.
YOU JUST SMUDGED A NAIL. You worked so hard at this, and you KNOW BETTER.
6. Weighing your options
There are a few roads you can take to remedy the situation, and you can proceed however you see fit. Do you… ignore the fact you’ve just smudged a nail, or promptly try and fix it?
7. Putting on another coat
SOS. As a last ditch effort, you try to put on a third (or fourth, or fifth) coat over the smudge. It looks… fine.
8. Giving up
This is why people pay good money to get their nails done by the professionals.
9. Testing your nails, again
Have they dried yet? No. It’s already too late, and you’ve smudged/scratched them, again, and you literally just went through this. Have you learned nothing?
10. Attempting to return to normal life
After four more minutes, assume that everything is fine and dry, and attempt something drastic, like, pulling back your hair.
11. Accepting that everything is ruined
Now all your nails are smudged, and you just wasted 20 minutes of your life you’re never going to get back.
12. Giving up for the second time
All is lost. Out of spite, you’re never going to paint your nails ever again.
13. Removing all your nail polish; start again
Grab that bag of cotton balls, but this time, the action is for all 10 fingers.
14. Repeating steps 1-13 forever
Welcome to the never-ending cycle of nail polish.