Kathryn Lindsay
October 11, 2015 8:45 am

In 2015, saying you met someone online is as normal as saying you met someone at a bar. The worlds of dating have collided, and now there are tons of options out there for casual or not-so-casual dating. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. In 2014, Lauren Urasek was one of the most popular people on OKCupid, but she’s not exclusive to any one method. She’s experienced many different online and offline dating kerfuffles, and has come out on the other side with some words of wisdom for those of us who just aren’t hitting it off over the web.

1. Know that you’ll probably have more misses than hits.

In her new book, Urasek details every painful and hilarious story from her experience playing the online dating field. Through it all, she’s always remained optimistic, because it’s not like you’re going to fall in love with every person you meet. In fact, a lot of them just won’t be your type. In her first interview, she details a few of the different opening lines men have sent her in an attempt to strike up some online romance. A lot of the time, they’re about her tattoos. Other times, they’re vulgar. Actually, most of the time. “­Seventy percent of the messages are straight-up blunt, vulgar sh*t,” she explains. “Even if I would just have fun with you … you need to not approach it that way.”

It’s totally okay to let these messages sit there and hold out for the people who really spark your interest.

2. It’s also okay if things don’t work out.

So you’ve met someone who isn’t creepy. Yay! You’ve been chatting for a few weeks and it’s finally time for the date. As Urasek knows all too well, good chemistry online doesn’t equal good chemistry in real life. Sometimes, for no reason at all, you meet each other and things fall flat. That’s okay. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means you’re learning.

3. No matter what happens, it’s definitely worth it. 

Despite the duds and the awkward conversations, online dating is totally fun. For instance, Urasek met Bill Nye the Science Guy through one of her dates, as well as made some awesome memories —even if they were just hilarious stories she called her friends about after. Don’t let the bad encounters slow you down, but don’t let yourself fall into the trap of thinking you have to be online dating if you don’t want to be. Opening yourself up to this kind of experience might teach you that this isn’t an experience you want to have. Despite her vast knowledge of online dating, Urasek herself is actually single. “I want women and girls to know that it’s okay to be single and happy,” she explains. “I think when you’ve found that comfort to be by yourself, that’s when you’re the happiest.”

(Image via iStock)

Advertisement