Amelia Olson
September 24, 2014 9:59 am

Before I was able to think of all the signs you are a procrastinator, I had to first clean my entire house and watch every episode, of every season of the X-Files. It’s not that procrastinators don’t like to work it’s just that our process of accomplishing work is more spirited and. . .diverse?

Being a procrastinator simply means are unable to complete specific tasks in a timely matter because you are burdened by the injustices of deadlines. Or maybe it means it’s actually really important you color categorize your closet before getting started on any important work you need to do.

Whichever way you choose to look at it, if you doubt in any way that you are a procrastinator, here are a few signs that you most definitely are:

1. You must “clean” before you work

For example: YOU HAVEN’T ORGANIZED YOUR APARTMENT IN OVER A YEAR, BUT THAT ESSAY IS DUE IN FOUR HOURS SO YOU REALLY NEED A CLEAN SPACE TO WORK IN. A clean workspace is just as important as the dedication involved in producing good work. How are you supposed to focus on that essay that’s due in four hours if you have magazines from 2012 on your coffee table?

 

2. You replace deadline work with non-critical “other” work you must accomplish now 

For example: THAT BIG PROJECT YOU TOOK ON, THAT YOU WERE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT, REALLY ISN’T AS IMPORTANT AS WRITING FANFICTION. You’re a writer, it’s in your blood to take your time. You can’t rush a genius, plus creative outlets are crucial to developing your voice. So instead of editing your half-written assignment, you would professionally benefit from writing an alternate ending to Freaks and Geeks.

3. “JUST ONE MORE EPISODE” syndrome

You have a TV problem. Or maybe it’s just that sometimes you gotta take a TV break before gearing up for a long day of work. After three hours of New Girl, you’re sure you’ll be ready to really hunker down and work hard once you find out how Jess reacts to Nick in the next episode. There will be some kind of answer in the next episode right? Well, even if it’s a few episodes, it’s not that much time away from work.

 

4. Physical fitness suddenly becomes imperative

Your house is out-of-control, messy, and looks not unlike a really scary and disorganized thrift store. It’s obvious you should go work out for the first time in six months to help create momentum. Yeah! Working out! Get’s the blood pumping! Makes you ready to take on hours of cleaning!

 

5. Naps are necessary

All science everywhere says that power naps are the answer to all problems. Hey, I was skeptical at first, too, but if science says so, then it’s correct. Before you do laundry I, alongside science, think it would be best to take a power nap. Power naps for procrastinators generally last about 2-5 hours.

 

6. You’ve become a person who cannot “waste” a beautiful day.

IT’S GORGEOUS OUTSIDE. You can work through the night, seriously. It’s so beautiful outside, it’s really a perfect day to learn to paraglide. You’ve been wanting to do that for a long time, and honestly, you work better at night anyway.

 

7. Getting up “super early” tomorrow to do work sounds like a perfect idea

It got kinda late after all that paragliding, and your body needs a nutritious Paleo meal. I think in the cookbook section at Powell’s there is a Paleo section, you should totally go buy an inexpensive cookbook and get a good meal and a great night of rest. You can wake up “super early” tomorrow and finish what you couldn’t get done tonight.

Procrastinators unite! We can unite later though.

GIFs via via, via, via, via, via, via

 

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