Suzanne Zuppello
August 01, 2016 8:44 am
Columbia Pictures

Reddit confessions are like free therapy. We’ve all had one of those sleepless nights in which we find ourselves in the bottomless hole of Reddit, right?! Sometimes, you’re simply a voyeur, quietly observing what others have anonymously admitted to. But on those really frustrating days, you find yourself using the site therapeutically, confessing your deepest secrets. Here are eight teacher confessions on Reddit that will have you wondering if they’re talking about you.

NBC/Giphy

1. Hawaii and Africa are not the same thing.

After their class read Barak Obama’s autobiography, which states he was born in Hawaii: “I asked the second graders right after we finished reading three sentences where Barack Obama was born. 3/4 said Africa. 🙄 As I was getting ready to show them Hawaii on the globe, I had to literally stop and let out the biggest sigh.”

2. College isn’t for everyone.

Your teachers know what we’re all thinking. College isn’t a right. It’s a gift. “At my school, we are supposed to refer to all of our students as ‘future college graduates.‘ And it drives me insane. It feels like putting so much pressure on the kids to fit a certain mold. And I have students who are 7th graders who I suspect might not graduate high school, let alone college, because their apathy toward school is already so ingrained that I don’t know that they can turn it around in time.” 

Giphy

3. Revenge is sweet.

Ever wonder why your teacher always calls on you, even when you continue to get the wrong answer? Yeah, so did this girl. “There’s a girl who got into my class illegitimately. I found out about it accidentally. I grade her work vengefully.

4. It’s all in the way you say it.

If you take nothing else away from your education, remember that context is everything:
“I told a kid he was acting like an asshole. He said he was going to tell his mom that I called him an asshole. I informed him that then that makes him a liar, because I didn’t call him one, I said he was acting like one. I then asked him if he or anyone else in the room thought it was untrue, and if so, please go ahead and use my phone to call and tell them. Never had a problem in that school again.”

Giphy/TriStar Pictures

5. Don’t say we never gave you anything.

“I gave an incredibly annoying and disruptive student a passing grade when he didn’t deserve one because if he didn’t pass I was going to have him again next year and I couldn’t handle that.”

Lesson here is that getting an A isn’t about how much you study, it’s about how much you irritate your teacher. One person responded to this in saying “Probably how I graduated TBH”. Yeah, we all know that kid.

6. Mr. Rogers did children everywhere a major disservice. 

If you came of age anytime between 1963 and 2001, you’ve probably have the pleasure of seeing Fred Rogers put on his cardigan as he told you that to make each day a special day, just be yourself. But your teachers have a confession: Mr. Rogers was a liar.

Mr. Rogers has ruined children. They are not special by virtue of just being, they become special because they have enough respect for themselves to follow their dreams and goals. I feel a lot of teachers ruin kids this way.”

PBS/Giphy

7. We’re all just actors in a play

“At least at university level, the top students are sometimes smarter than most of the professors. They just haven’t done the work to be as qualified.” We’ve all been that cocky student at least once. Sitting there, listening to the teacher thinking they have no idea what they’re talking about. Your teachers want you to know something: you’re actually smarter than them. 

8. Who farted?

Who’s never heard that awful kid in the back of the class shout “Whoever smelled it, dealt it,” when a mysterious foul order moves through the classroom? Did you ever think your teacher was the dealer?

“I regularly crop dust my classes and sit back while they blame each other…it’s the little things in life that make it worth living.”

Giphy/Universal Pictures
Advertisement