Beth Stebner
March 25, 2015 9:42 am

Hey, ladies – have you heard? The future is bright for us. . . in 43 years, that is.

That’s because, according to a new study, it will be as late as 2058 before women receive equal pay as men in the U.S., nearly a century after the first equal pay laws were passed.

A new report from the Institute for Women’s Pay and Policy Research predicts that working American women have it bad, especially in states like Wyoming and Louisiana, where researchers predict it will be 2159 before ladies take home a paycheck equal to their male peers.

And lest we forget, according to the U.S. Census, American women still earn around 78.3 cents for every dollar earned by a man.

Seriously, what gives? Kristen Schaal went on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night to explain and totally crushed it. “Tonight, we’re gonna party like it’s 2058! Drinks on me!” she told the host. “But can I borrow your credit card? Because I’m not going to get pay equality for a while.”

Schaal points out that President John F. Kennedy passed an equal pay law in 1963, and another law, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009, supposedly makes it easier for women to sue employers that don’t, well, show them the money.

“A lot of people assumed that law was just for show,” she deadpans.

She goes on to talk about all of the technological achievements that will likely happen before women get equal pay in the country. They include:

  • Flying cars
  • People going to Mars
  • 3D printed human organs

But hey, there is a small iota of hope, ladies! Another recent report found that young women in New York actually earn more than men, taking home $1.02 to every $1.

If you want to learn more about pay equity, check out some sobering statistics at the ACLU. And let’s hope that women’s equality comes before we’re all retired. In the meantime, let Schaal and Stewart ease your worries with some hilarious commentary.

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