Hi, it’s your big sister. So how’s it going? I overheard mom compare you to me again today, and to tell you the truth I felt a little bit like a phony when she did that. Sure I have the degree. I have a great job and a serious stable relationship and I pay my bills, but most importantly I keep in touch with her so she’s not always the one to call. I know it can sometimes be unnerving to always be compared to me. But let me tell you this: everything took time for me too! I probably partied harder than you in college. I failed classes too — not because I was not smart enough to pass them, but because for the first time in my life, I felt like there was much more to life than school.
I’m sure you’re learning that, as well. As for the great job, that took time too. It took a while before I found myself in a place where I can say I had found my career. And even as I am working with people I admire and in a profession I love, there are still days even weeks where I feel like my contribution in life is minuscule, and that I should just quit and be a nomad. So don’t feel like you have to have everything figured out after graduation. It doesn’t work like that. It’s more like those cliche sayings actually: good things come to those who wait (and persevere).
Now I know you’ve gone through some heartbreaks too, and I know that it looks like I’m on the party train of blissful happiness now when it comes to my relationship. But let me tell you, it was a hard road traveled. There were very many frogs and even snakes along the way. I had to kiss them to learn that there are so many things I do not need in my life or deserve. I learned that by having my heart broken too. I learned that also by being able to piece my heart together, healing and opening it up again.
I know, I know. My monologue is starting to sound like one of mom’s speeches. But you know what? I’m proud that it does. That’s the reason I’ve been calling her so much more now, because the older I get the more I understand her and the wiser her words have become. She really does have our best interests at heart, and when she says she’s been there she really does mean it. So don’t fret little sister, everything will work itself out. Enjoy the journey into adulthood. Don’t worry that you don’t have everything quite figured out yet. It’ll come in due time. You are a success all on your own, and I am very proud of you.
Katrina is a Filipino import who lives in orange county California. She and her little sister are seven years and continents apart at present.