Christina Wolfgram
November 29, 2015 7:43 am

Police in Sydney, Australia were called with multiple reports of a domestic dispute at 2:00 a.m. last week. According to the complaints, the situation sounded violent: A woman was screaming hysterically, furniture was being thrown across the apartment, and a man was yelling, “I’m going to kill you. You’re dead! Die! Die!!”

Understandably, officers arrived on the scene as soon as possible, prepared for the worst. When they knocked on the door, a man answered, noticeably flushed and out of breath. Here is the conversation between this man and the police, straight from the North Sydney Police Force:

Sounds like the dude was lying, right? A slew of his neighbors had called in, worried for a woman’s safety, and now he was saying that there was no woman?

Well, it turns out it wasn’t a human he was trying to kill.

“At this point the male became very sheepish,” the police report says.

When the officers realized that the domestic dispute was between man and beast, they were relieve and pretty amused. “As it turns out the male was chasing a rather large spider around the unit with a can of mortein. After a very long pause some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left.”

Yes, this story is hilarious, but honestly, who can blame that guy? Spiders can grow to be as big as some particularly small dogs in Australia.

(Images via Fox and Warner Bros./Giphy.)

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