Rachel Paige
Updated Jun 09, 2016 @ 4:23 pm
Credit: Pixar

I graduated college six years ago. Since then, I’ve moved multiples times, been through a few jobs, and paid off my college debt (IT WAS SO EXCITING). However, through all of this, I realize that while I’m living this cool ~big girl~ life, I’m actually oddly stunted with my life. I’m an adult, but I don’t feel like I’m truly living like an adult yet.

I cannot grocery shop for the life of me

If you want to watch me super struggle at life, just watch me to go to Target. I can only wonder what the cashiers are thinking of me as I buy a bunch of random food items, none of which will sustain human life for very long. I buy bread without any deli meat, bags and bags of shredded cheese, frosting in all sorts of varieties, and Goldfish. Then I get back to my apartment and I’m like, “I HAVE NO FOOD!!!”

Well, duh.

I have no idea how to cook

I’m terrified of my oven (it’s a long story), so the list of things I am brave enough to make is very limited. It’s mostly eggs, grilled cheese, or bowls of cereal. Most of the time, I order-in food. My fridge is full of assorted expensive leftovers, and they go bad. Then I’m like, “I HAVE NO FOOD!!” [Repeats process of ordering in food again and again]

Credit: PIxar/Giphy

I stay up waaaaaay too late

The other day I was talking with the other ladies at HG, and one of them mentioned that she goes to bed so early at 10:30 p.m. The other said she goes to bed closer to 11 p.m. Meanwhile, I got to bed no earlier than say, midnight. A lot of times I’m still wide awake at 1 a.m. on a school night weekday. It’s like my body is physically incapable at falling asleep unless it’s a single-digit number on the clock.

I sleep in waaaaaay too much

Know how I’m still at up 1 a.m. on the weekdays? On the weekends I’m still awake at close to 2 a.m. I’m not even out anywhere doing anything. I’m simply still awake well into the early morning hours for NO REASON. So this means I sleep in until close to 10 a.m. the next morning. OK, fine, I sleep in until close to 11 a.m. the next morning. This is why no one invites me to brunch.

Credit: Pixar/Giphy

I tried to buy a mini fridge not that long ago

I moved earlier this year. For some strange reason, apartments in Los Angeles, California don’t come with refrigerators (¯_(ツ)_/¯). I had a very serious conversation with my mother about buying a fridge, and then I looked at the prices of buying a FRIDGE, and I very seriously told my mother, “I’m just going to buy a mini-fridge.”

My mom was so mad, you guys. SO MAD. She demanded that I buy an actual ~adult~ fridge.

I dream of living in a studio apartment

If given the option, would I go back to living in a 13×10′ room? Hell yes, but maybe something just a tad bit bigger, you know? I loved my college dorm room, because I could do EVERYTHING IN THE SAME ROOM. Eat, clean, watch TV, sleep. Like, my fridge was next to my computer, and I’m honestly surprised I ever left to go to classes. Now I wander around my one-bedroom apartment, and I feel like there are too many walls.

Credit: Pixar/Giphy

I forget to do my homework

And by homework, I mean my adult homework, like pay bills, clean my kitchen, get my oil changed, remember to take my vitamins, etc. I forget to do these things because I’m too busy lying on my couch binging Netflix. Which is the same thing I was doing back in college, when I was too busy to do my homework — and in my defense I DID major in television.

I have no idea how to make plans

It was so nice in college, when we all lived in the same dorm and I could walk down the hall and go hang out with someone. I assume that can still happen now, and we’ll order pizza and watch movies all night. I keep asking this one friend to hang out, but honestly I have no idea how to ~hang out~ anymore, like adults do. Is it not all just pizza and movies or…?