parry ernsberger
April 03, 2013 10:15 am

Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from Linden Wolbert! Why? Because the girl is a MERMAID. Sure, she might have access to those, whadiya call them? Oh, feet. But Wolbert, who can hold her breath under water for five minutes, prefers to swim among the stingless jellyfish in a bedazzled, 35 lb. tail (which, by the way, took seven months to construct alongside Hollywood special effects artist, Allan Holt).

But it’s not just a hobby for the L.A. resident — Wolbert travels the world as a professional mermaid to promote ocean preservation and conversation and produces an education web series for kids called “Mermaid Minute.” She also does birthday parties(mine’s in October *cough cough*) and has reportedly been hired in Hollywood by the likes of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Alba.

See kids? You can actually be whatever you want when you grow up! Even a fictional sea-being. If you need me, I’ll be singing to birds in the forest with seven of my shortest friends.

Featured image courtesy of Dailymail.co.uk

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