Jill Layton
December 17, 2014 10:34 am

Everyone lies. Whether we realize it or not. Sometimes it’s malicious, which is definitely not OK, and sometimes lying just has to happen, because the only other option is to hurt someone’s feelings. You know — a white lie. White lies are generally harmless and often necessary to maintain positive social relationships. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves, right? So let’s have a look at some of those little white lies we all tell, and most likely will never own up to. It’s time to face the facts, folks.

“I was going to be on time, but then something crazy happened!” 

Obviously the real reason you’re late is that you over slept, or were pre-occupied with something else, but explaining that can result in losing your job or people thinking you’re flakey. Which you might be, but you don’t need them to know that. So instead you say that the train wasn’t working, you had a plumbing disaster in your apartment, you got totally lost thanks to a faulty GPS, or that you were there early and then this crazy thing you can’t even talk about happened.

“My phone’s about to die”

The truth is, phone calls are annoying. So, rather than telling someone you have to hang up because you’re over it, you just make up an excuse. Top fake reason to hang up: “My phone’s about to die.” We’ve all done that one.

“I never got your text!”

“OMG. I’m so sorry. I totally didn’t see your message about driving you to the airport last week until right now.” Sure you didn’t. But I don’t blame you. Unless it’s for a close friend, airport rides are the worst.

“I didn’t touch your [insert something from roomie’s food stash].”

You totally drank all of your roommate’s almond milk except for a few drops, and then put it back in the fridge, because you were too lazy to throw it out or, ugh, have to replace it. Yeah, we’ve done that.

“I LOVE this gift!”

So, maybe knitted pants aren’t exactly your style (nor did you know they were a thing), but your grandma made them for you with her bare hands. You have to pretend to love them.

“This meatloaf is amazing.”

You actually hate their meatloaf, because you hate meatloaf in general. The only food that should come in a loaf is bread. But you’re thankful that someone made you dinner.

“I can totally get this check.”

This isn’t a direct lie, but it definitely gives off the impression that you can afford to pay for everyone. As generous as this is, your friends probably prefer you to pay your rent than to pay for their dinner.

“I’m already en route.”

“I’m on my way” is not the same as you still putting on your make up. I honestly have no idea why people lie about this. It’s not even really a white lie. It’s full blown lie.

“If you look at the camera, I’ll give you a treat!”

And then not giving your poor, photogenic dog a treat. It’s so MEAN! But it works.

“I’m on Tinder, but just as a joke.”

Puhhhlease.

“I’m good.” (In response to someone asking, “How are you?”)

Granted, that’s always easier than saying, “Actually, not great. My hamster died, I have a cold sore and I just totaled my new car.” Most people don’t really want a truthful answer anyway.

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