Jonathan Zipper
October 13, 2013 11:00 am

Let’s hit rewind on this week for a moment, shall we? Glee fans said farewell to their beloved Finn Hudson in a touching tribute to Cory Monteith. Miley Cyrus continued her dominance over media with a little help from Jimmy Fallon. The Jenners announced their year-long separation. Then, Kanye West and Jimmy Kimmel called a truce on live TV. CRAY to the ZEE — and that’s just from the mainstream!

Check out all the other wild stories you may have missed with another round of “The Week In WHAT?!

Gulf States To Gays: No Thanks

In a major setback for the globalization of human and civil rights, Kuwait announced its plans to develop a “medical test” to “detect” homosexuality. The goal is to stop members of the LGBT community from entering the Gulf Cooperation Countries, which also includes Bahrain, Qatar, Oman, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. Anyone the testing deems a homosexual would immediately be sent out of the country. That’s a hefty punishment, but nothing compared to jail time or the death penalty, which Kuwait and Saudi Arabia enforce respectively. FYI: being gay is still considered against the law in over 75 countries.

You’re Ruining Everyone’s Commute

If you’ve ever commuted by train, chances are you’ve witnessed a fellow passenger holding the doors to help a friend catch it too. Even when it’s only a matter of seconds, this act causes a domino effect that slows the entire system down for millions of others. Not to mention, those sliding doors can cause physical harm. Well, someone finally snapped and did what most of us only visualize but would never actually do – he kicked the human door stop out of the way. Clearly her friend didn’t share the same sense of urgency because in 15 seconds of video footage, she’s nowhere to be found:

Ex-Girlfriend Gets Handsy During Ballsy Break Up Move

Let this be a lesson to always gird your loins when danger approaches. A man in South Carolina is nursing his black-and-blue balls back to health after his ex-girlfriend allegedly played a round of grab, twist, pull with his junk. According to reports, Jennifer Singletary appeared to be intoxicated when she arrived to pick-up her belongings from Sonny Dolquist. He says she forced her way into the home after he refused to grant her entrance. The situation quickly escalated as Singletary “squeezed his testicles to the point they were bleeding.” OUCH!

Not Quite Lost, But Safely Found

A child wandering off with a stranger is one of many nightmares that keep parents up at night. Fortunately for a family in the United Kingdom, this dreaded event had a happier ending than most and occurred without anyone even realizing it. A little girl in Kent spent some quality time with her grandfather after he picked her up from school for a trip to the pediatrician. What should have been a great day for the two wasn’t because the girl wasn’t his granddaughter. Turns out the girl and the granddaughter are in the same class, and the school released the wrong one. What’s more is that the parents only discovered the mishap when the girl showed them medicine the doctor prescribed. Yes, this means the grandfather, the school, and the girl’s doctor all failed to crack this case of mistaken identity. At least both children are safe — and that other girl got some medicine she potentially needed!

This Is It: The Apocalypse

Worried about the apocalypse? Costco’s got you covered! For a mere $1200 per person, you can purchase a six-month supply of food, fuel, and water. Courtesy of Shelf Reliance®, the package contains freeze dried foods with a shelf life of up to 25 years and recipes to help you maintain your foodie card even when the lights go out. After all, being the neighborhood gourmand pays dividends in rough situations — just ask Red and the ladies from Orange Is The New Black! And if doomsday never arrives, you can always use your rations for a Blast From The Past role playing fantasy. Turn up that Perry Como!

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Shutterstock.

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