Six-year-old Auren really wanted a new toy, but couldn’t afford it. Because he’s six, and six-year-olds usually can’t afford things. So he did the most logical thing and asked his dad for a $20 advance on his allowance. His dad, Mike, responded to the loan request with the most perfectly hilarious corporate rejection letter.
Here’s the letter, which was adorably printed on a “DAD Savings and Loans” letterhead with the tagline, “Because, apparently I look like I’m made of money.”
“We regret to inform you at this time that we are unable to provide a loan in the amount requested of $20.00. After reviewing your account, we have find [sic] you have insufficient funds, and a history of not doing your chores.
Furthermore, over $80.00 has been spent on discretionary entertainment expenses since Christmas. This is an unsustainable amount of expenditure, and we cannot further compound the problem by financially assisting with occurring further debt at this point.
If you would like to refute this decision, you can contact our complaint department at [number]. Our dispute manager at this number may be able to persuade us to reverse our decision.
Thank you for choosing DAD Savings and Loan, we appreciate the chance to serve your financial needs.”
After an easy Google search of “Dad bank,” Mike found the letterhead image and pasted it into the letter — which took him all of five minutes to write.
Mike told The Huffington Post that Auren had spent the majority of the day asking for $20 to buy a new toy, even though he was told “no” each time. “I was in my office, and he had clearly been bothering Mom, who gave him the idea to ‘go ask Dad for a loan on your allowance,'” Mike said. “I knew ‘loan’ wasn’t in his vocabulary up to that point, it was his mom that sent him my way with that idea! So I thought it would be funny to send him back to her with a loan rejection letter in hand. I knew he’d need her to read it to him. While I am teaching my kid about managing money through other ways, this one was really meant to make Mom smile.”
And he was right. She did smile. In fact, she found the letter so funny, she suggested sharing it on Facebook and Reddit. “We figured there might be other parents out there who could relate,” Mike said.
From there, the letter made it to the front page of Reddit. “If I had known how much it would take off I would have proofread the thing for some very obvious errors, but oh well,” Mike said.
After all was said and done (and shared on the Internet), Mike said Auren “got the gist” of the letter. The answer was no. But after all the attention the letter received, Mom gave in and bought the $20 toy anyway.
We’re pretty sure Auren learned his lesson. If he begs for a toy long enough, his dad will write something hilarious, become Internet famous, and then he’ll get the toy. Seems simple enough.
(Image via Imgur)