The key to relationship happiness might be unfriending your S.O. on Facebook
Hear us out.
Imagine asking your boyfriend or girlfriend how their day was, and hearing about it for the first time straight from his or her mouth. No leadoff like, “I saw that you got scored floor seats to the 1989 tour on Craigslist,” or “I saw that you got coffee after lunch with Jamie.” Just a genuine recounting of how their day was, as told by them. Huh.
Facebook (and Instagram, and Twitter, and Snapchat, and… ) makes it easy for us to know all the details our friends are willing to share about their moods, days, and social calendars. And that includes your significant other. Even for the most committed couples who don’t have any secrets, there’s still something a little weird about finding out small details about their day at the same time (or after, even) as the rest of their network.
So, let’s unpack that crazy idea: Unfriending your significant other might be good for your relationship. It helps keep an air of mystery between you, keep things new and keep things exciting.
“There’s something about being in a relationship where you want some unknowingness and some unpredictability,” Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist specializing in couples counseling told PRI.
Could it really make a difference, though? Kerner thinks so. He unfriended his wife on Facebook, and recommends couples do the same.
“I realized for a little while with my own wife that I didn’t really want her to be my friend on Facebook,” Kerner continued. “I didn’t want all of that extra information. If anything I wanted less information — I wanted more mystery and unpredictability.”
I should point out — I’m talking about serious long-term relationships where both people are committed to each other and there isn’t any drama. Unfriending your boyfriend or girlfriend so you aren’t tempted to get jealous over small things might be helpful, but hints at other relationship problems. If you’re still stalking his weekend plans trying to see if he hung out with that one girl, this experiment might not be for you.
Not ready to take that big of a step? Maybe unfollow each other so your posts don’t readily appear in your feed, or try a digital detox for a few days. Spending time away from your screens and with each other is always a good thing.
“When you add up all of the periods of distraction that devices give us, you might have a lot of time that you could put towards your relationship,” Kerner advises. Touché.
(Image via Shutterstock.)