Jessica Wakeman
Updated May 12, 2016 @ 12:26 pm
jojo fletcher bachelorette
Credit: ABC

It’s that time again! Today ABC announced the 26 men who will compete this season for JoJo Fletcher’s heart on “The Bachelorette” premiere on Monday, May 23. Rest assured, HelloGiggles has conducted a thorough investigation and these bright-eyed and bushy-tailed gentleman do not disappoint in the hunk department.

When it comes to the men’s careers, however, that’s where it gets a little iffy. Yes, there is a male model. Yes, there are some software salesmen. But it wouldn’t be “The Bachelor” franchise if there weren’t contestants who had jobs that were not actual occupations in real life, now would it? (We’re looking at you, Free Spirit and Dog Lover.)

First, here’s ABC’s tweet of the whole crew. We’ve got a kilt, a Santa Claus, and a whole lot of testosterone: false

Let’s meet some of the guys who want to have a chance at JoJo. This is Chad, 33, and he is an Erectile Dysfunction Specialist.

Credit: ABC

Chad is pretty cute and his job is an important one, but one of his dealbreakers is “girls with chipped nail polish” and we are so not here for that.

This tall drink of handsome is Derek, a 29-year-old commercial banker:

Credit: ABC

Our favorite fact about Derek is that he appears to be afraid of cucumbers. When asked in his “Bachelorette” bio what he would bring with him to a desert island, Derek said:

Duly noted, Derek.

Now let’s review some of the men who have weird jobs. JoJo, as you may remember, is a real estate developer. James S, who is 27, has “Bachelor Superfan” listed as his occupation.

Credit: ABC

That’s legit, though. Being obsessed with “Bachelor”/”Bachelorette”/”Bachelor In Paradise” practically is a full-time job.

However, our official winner for the kookiest occupation of JoJo’s season goes to Brandon, who is 28 and works as a “Hipster.”

Credit: ABC

Maybe it means Brandon only joined “The Bachelorette” cast ironically? We’re sure JoJo will get to the bottom of this over a few cans of PBR.

There are plenty of other handsome guys this season — a male model and a firefighter among them — who we’re just as excited to get to know (and also enjoy as eye candy, just being honest here). Mark your calendars for May 23, because “The Bachelorette” premiere is nearly here and there’s no way we’re going to miss who gets the first impression rose!