My name is Julia and I never carry around cash. Ever, ever, under any circumstances. I don’t think I’ve been to a bank in two years. If it weren’t for grocery stores, I’d go my entire life without having an ATM option to choose from.

I refuse to park my own car. If there’s a valet parker less than half a block away from me, I will always park my car with him. I avoid parking lots like the plague, especially the “Two Hours Free” ones. It’s one of my worst qualities. The problem is that I never have money for valet parking. I have written more $6 checks to valet companies all throughout the city than anyone you’ll ever meet. The last couple of places didn’t take checks so I’ve turned myself around and really made an effort to try to carry cash.

The other day, I was going to meet my friends at dinner and I asked my husband for valet money. He didn’t have any and I was too embarrassed to ask my friend for some again. There was no way I was doing that. After searching all over my house, I remembered that I found a pink play purse of Sunny’s with cash and a few marshmallows in it. Perfect! I would just take Sunny’s cash and then return it tomorrow. I had scrounged up $4 on my own so I only needed three dollars. Two days later, I found myself in the same predicament. I would just take the remaining $4 and give it all back this week.

As I was taking the $4, Sunny came into the closet. “What are you doing?” she asked. Shocked, I took a step back. “Nothing, I’m just checking to make sure you have all your marshmallows.”

She looked confused. She asked for her purse. I handed it to her and right away she saw that the money was missing. So for some strange reason, I blurted out, “I invested your money.” I explained that in two days she would have more money than she did before and not to ask too many questions but just to trust me. For the next 24 hours, my daughter, the loan shark, was stalking me. I could not believe that Sunny not only remembered I owed her money, but was actually hounding me about it. That night at dinner, she kept asking me what an investment was and if she was going to be rich. Remind me never to borrow money from this chick again.