I can’t explain why they happen – love affairs that are so intense, so fun, and so quick to go away – but they happen. To me. Lil Momma. It’s happened before and I’ve bounced back. It will probably happen again, and guess what? I’ll probably bounce back again. Nevertheless, I must get the root of 48-hour love affairs, because even though they end so quickly, the lasting, gut-wrenching effect they leave you with can paralyze for weeks.
I wish I could turn that switch off – the switch that replays conversations. The food you ate. The sweet touches you exchanged. I wish I could flip that switch on him that made me emotionless to everybody else, including him. But I can’t. At least not now. Not until weeks go by and I build up strength again to ‘get back out there, gurl’, as my mimosa friends would say. Until I get to chutzpah to delete his number altogether and never send a drunken text again. And until when I finally – and I mean FINALLY – have gotten better and forgotten everything about him, only to see him for the first time since then and melt into the whirlwind of pain… again.
You see, he made the plans, booked the dinners and wanted to see me at every moment we could. I kindly obliged, cautious as I normally am, but not as cold as I normally choose to be, because, well, I liked this one and he was a friend of a friend. “He’s different.” That’s what people like to say. “He’s different.” I guess the truth is that I should have waited to be intimate. Maybe it would not made it all mean as much as it did so quickly. Or maybe, me waiting wouldn’t make a difference in the slightest because he is what he is, and he is going through what he is going through and if he liked me enough he would have stayed. Instead, I accidentally fell into his path and got burned along the the way. Everyone wants to be the one that’s different.
Lena Dunham’s character in GIRLS is living a parallel lifestyle to some girls, others maybe not as much. But nothing hits home harder than the episode with hottie Patrick Wilson portraying “Hannah’s” 24-hour love affair. The episode is called “Another Man’s Trash” and if you haven’t seen it, go now. It is a fantastical version of the lifestyle ‘Hannah’ never leads. A sexy love affair that seems so easy. That’s what I get from guys. “You are so easy… to be around. To talk to. To be with.” So easy, huh? Well, in the words of pop sensation Avril Lavigne circa early 2000s, “Why’d you have to go and make everything so complicated?!” (I will not apologize for a Avril reference.)
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