"How I Met Your Mother" -isms you should be using every single day of your life
Searching for words to describe a certain THING? No worries. Ted, Marshall, Barney, Lily, and Robin are here to help you out. Over nine seasons and 208 episodes, here are the best phrases, sayings, and terms the gang coined and they’re all — wait for it — pretty legendary.
The Ninja Report
Definition: Used when whatever boring work thing you’re talking about is TOO BORING. You friends don’t want to hear about last month’s expense reports. Nope, they want to hear about last month’s NINJA REPORT!! instead.
“Nothing Good Happens After 2 a.m.”
Definition: Should you or should you not do something. Is it 1:57 a.m.? Good to go, have fun! Is it 2:01 a.m.? Abort, abort, because nothing good happens after 2 a.m.
The Lemon Law
Definition: If you show up for a first date, and it’s just not going anywhere, you are allowed to politely excuse yourself and go home, citing the rules of The Lemon Law. The Lemon Law states that you only have to spend five minutes with your date before you decide if he/she is worth your time or not.
The Crazy-Hot Scale
Definition:Definition: a person is allowed to be crazy, as long as they are equally hot.
The Olive Rule
Definition: Easiest way to figure out true love. If you’re picking the olives out of your salad because you don’t like them, and your date eats them because they like them, you’re meant to be.*
*might not always be true.
Definition: When making a bet of the utmost importance, and money just won’t cut it, you can wager something else. Like, slapping someone.
Definition: This theory states that a big, romantic gesture will work if two individuals are both equally into one another. A big romantic gesture will NOT work, if one party is waaaaay more into the other than they are. Dobler is for Llyod Dobler in Say Anything. Dahmer is for serial killer Jeffery Dahmer, so you get the idea.
“Have you met…?”
Definition: Ah, the easiest way to pick someone up at a bar. Tap a patron on the shoulder and then single to your wing man/woman and ask “HAVE YOU MET THEM?” Works almost every time!
A Slutty Pumpkin
Definition: Used to refer to the perfect idea of someone who was nothing more than but a fleeting ~dream~ that one time, and also happened to be dressed up as a Slutty Pumpkin. Is probably better in your imagination. Don’t go trying to find your slutty pumpkin.
The Front Porch Test
Definition: The perfect way to tell if your friend has found their life partner. Can you see yourself sitting on the front porch, with your beloved, and your BFF’s beloved, too? If yes, then congrats, everyone’s in it to win it. If not… eh, someone’s got to go.