Jonathan Zipper
May 18, 2013 8:00 am

With Memorial Day just a few days away, the countdown to summer is officially on! So, what are you going to do with all that epidermis? Hopefully protect it from the sun – that’s what! There are way too many other scary things to be worried about as it is. Are we right, or are we RIGHT? Right!

Before you start all that fun-in-the-sun prep work, check out another healthy dose of “The Week In WHAT?!

Tastes Just Like Chicken – or Does It?

National Geographic has an innovative yet somewhat grotesque way of dealing with cicada season: eat the bugs. Yes, that said “eat.” Turning the noisy critters into breakfast, lunch or dinner is definitely one way to solve the overpopulation issue, but will anyone go for it? They’ve even published a handful of recipes to get you started. Apparently, the bugs are low-carb and gluten free, which means they meet all of those obtrusive fad diet standards. If you’ve ever wanted to be on Fear Factor, then it’s a perfect time to practice, practice, practice!

Caught Up in the Rapture of… Nothing

Sadly, there is little to no money to be made when it comes to predicting the always-impending rapture. Just ask Harold Camping, the man who catapulted to infamy after wrongly predicting the end of days on multiple occasions through his “religious” organization, Family Radio Inc. The group is now dealing with its own personal rapture otherwise known as bankruptcy. Sounds like his psychic powers were clearly on to some kind of gloom and doom — he just got a few of the details mixed up. Whoops!

Don’t Cry Out Loud!

This is exactly like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and his friends debate whether a particular digit-to-nose movement was a “pick” or a “scratch.” Except that it’s about tear ducts and involves President Obama. The photo caption gang at Reuters seems to believe its photogs caught the Prez in a deeply humanizing tearful moment. So, was it a legit tear or was Joe Biden chopping onions nearby? See the pic, then be the judge!

And the Tony Award For Most Dramatic Play Goes to…

Emily Thorne still has a long way to go in getting her Revenge on the Graysons, but one theatergoer recently gave a fellow, albeit bothersome, patron of the arts some just desserts. At the Wednesday performance of Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 in New York, National Review columnist Kevin Williamson found the group sitting next to him to be extremely close and incredibly loud. Allegedly things got worse shortly after he complained to the theater at intermission as a lady nearby began playing on her cell phone while the show progressed. It quickly escalated to a climax as Williamson chucked the phone across the room and was slapped across the face. Vigilante justice, much? Whether or not other audience members found the incident as distracting, they sure lucked out with a double feature.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Anderson Design Group.

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