Rachel Paige
June 01, 2015 6:00 am

Three cheers to those who take time out of their busy day to entertain us. Who are we celebrating today? Jeff Wysaski, who runs the Tumblr Obvious Plant, and is also responsible for Pleated Jeans — two marvelous websites on the great big Internet. He’s taken to replacing normal, humdrum signs for every day things with other signs — remember when he relabeled sections in a bookstore? This latest stop might be better than the first — he’s replaced signs in a pet store with hilarious and honest descriptions of the animals. You want to know exactly what kind of pet you’re buying, right??

Wysaski’s new signs still explain the animal, but you know, they’re now a little bit different. We’re no longer just talking about purchasing a turtle, but now we know we’re getting a “non-mutant” turtle that “doesn’t fight crime” and is also “not teenaged.” He really drives the point home that you are NOT purchasing a Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtle. Those clearly cost extra.

And he doesn’t stop there. Check out some more of his amazingly hilarious pet descriptions.

Along with a turtle, he’s labeled a “Fieri Hamster” that’s attracted to fiery prints and also provides mediocre appetizers like mozzarella sticks and chicken wings. Then there’s the Judgmental Tree Frog who’s gonna judge you on all your life choices.

Wysaski got s bunch more over on his Tumblr, and if you need a good laugh today I suggest you check them out. But if I really every come across a “Haitian Voodoo Death Bird” I will purchase it without thinking twice.

(Images via here and here.)

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