Liz Pardue-Schultz
Updated Aug 14, 2015 @ 9:08 am
Screen Shot 2015-08-14 at 12.07.07 PM

It’s a day where you’re just, you know, not. You could drag yourself into public and shuffle dully among the masses, questioning life’s purpose, OR you could make yourself an event for others to appreciate with very little effort. Your choice, gorgeous.

Just follow these quick, easy steps and you’ll be shocked at how glamorous you’ll feel in no time!

Dress entirely too nicely for where you plan to be for the day.

My Gran wore a red and black Chanel suit to my first birthday party, which was held in my parents’ tiny kitchen with only them and my other grandparents in attendance. You know what everyone else wore? Uh, who cares? If you’re the best dressed person in the room, you’re a spectacle. Note that “nice” doesn’t have to mean “expensive”; wearing something you made that is dazzling is just as effective as a $2,000 Givenchy power suit. As long as you love it and feel great in it, it doesn’t matter what the price tag Costume jewelry and props (cigarette holders, muffs, parasols, opera glasses) are ideal.

Red lipstick and nothing else is perfectly OK

While I love a dramatic look as much as the next gal, everyone knows that effortless beauty is the epitome of glamor. Plus, your clothes will do the work of creating your backstory. You don’t have to overdo it on the make-up (or use make-up at all if you don’t want) but sometimes a little something will help pick you up. Red lipstick? Yes please. Tinted moisturizer with SPF, a dash of mascara if you prefer, and a dab of Chap Stick? Perfection. That’s power, honey.

Gigantic sunglasses are your bestie

Nobody has to know you’re suffering from seasonal allergies and/or just didn’t feel like putting on any makeup. Humongous shades make you look glamorous, aloof, and preoccupied with some residual fatigue obtained from somewhere in your busy agenda. Maybe your eyes are bleary from chomping stogies over poker with some politicians’ wives. Maybe you’ve been up for three days cranking out your masterpiece so your agent will quit pestering you already. Of course, maybe you’re really just exhausted from caring for a fussy, sick kid all week; however, your fancy clothes and fab sunglasses create a whole new mystery.

Keep your chin up

Instead, adopt the mentality that it is simply too early to be wherever you are, no matter what time of day it is. Even if it’s 5 pm, it is too blasted early for all this effort, don’t you agree? Tilt your chin slightly upward; you’d be facedown in a gutter and still be looking down your nose at this wretched sunlight. Fabulous.

Be the den mother

Treat everyone as if they are your allies in this unbearable travesty of having to get out of bed. Act impressed that they are all holding themselves together so well in the face of this apparent adversity.

Treat yo’self!

Keep in mind that giving yourself an gift doesn’t have to mean buying more clutter; a foot massage is arguably as luxurious as a trendy new necklace, for example. However, no matter what you choose to give yourself, do so unapologetically. This can work for any budget. If you buy something simple and silly (Slim Jims for breakfast!), embrace it! A treat is a treat.