Rachel Paige
September 15, 2014 12:19 pm

Hey Fall,

You know you’re my favorite season, right? I absolutely love the changing of the leaves; is there anything more magical in nature than that? Plus, as soon as those leaves start changing, the air gets crisp, and that means it’s time to make apple crisp. You’re the season I look forward to all year. I’ve missed apple picking and cider donuts. Those are only things only you can provide, Fall.

But you see, I think we have this problem.

The other day, I was out shopping, like I sometimes do on lazy afternoons, and I wandered into a big department store. I was looking for Halloween decorations. Even though I’m not the biggest fan of dressing up in costumes, I love Halloween. I love candy corn, and ghosts, and witches, and the colors orange, black, and purple. It’s the middle of September, might as well go see what merchandise is out, right?

Well, Fall, I wandered into the seasonal merchandise section, hoping to find maybe a light-up pumpkin. Spoiler alert, I did not find a light-up pumpkin. Want to know what I found instead? Christmas.

CHRISTMAS.

It’s not that I don’t like Christmas, it’s that I’m not ready for it yet. It was like I could feel the ground shake underneath me as I tried to gather my bearings as best I could. Had I managed to jump forward in time? Had I slept all through September and October? Was it already after Thanksgiving? I frantically searched the seasonal department for some solid proof that what I was seeing in front of my eyes was real. A motion-activated talking Santa wished me a ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’ and I realized that this nightmare was actually reality.

As I stood at the perimeter of the Christmas section, too nervous to go in, but too bewildered to turn away, another customer asked one of the store associates if this stuff was from ‘last season.’ The store associate laughed a big belly laugh, just like Santa, and told the woman that this merchandise had just been put out the night before. Know what I had done the night before, fall? I had gone to a farm stand nearby and gotten myself freshly-made ice cream, because it was still warm enough to do so. I figured that would be the last ice cream of the summer season, and I wanted just one more before I broke out my long pants and cardigans.

The worst part about this Christmas section was that it had been a back-to-school destination maybe a week before. Hanging behind the lit trees was a sign that read DESTINATION: DORM and showed one of those circular chairs that everyone had in college but never really sat on. There were still a few left over backpacks and lunchboxes that hadn’t even gone on clearance yet. Considering that my youngest sister went back to school the beginning of this week, it should still be ‘back-to-school’ season. I’m pretty sure when Meg Ryan describes how much she loves you, Fall, in You’ve Got Mail, she cites freshly sharpened pencils, not brand new Frozen ornaments.

Is this the new norm? Christmas in the middle of September? I remember scrolling through Tumblr at the beginning of the summer and found a post that read:

It’s almost June, better start getting ready for Christmas.

I laughed to myself, because it was funny. If I had known that prophecy would come true, I probably would have cried. Why does it have to be Christmas in September? I understand that Christmas is something to be excited about, and yeah, maybe come November 28th I’ll start getting excited and think about decorating a tree, but right now, in the middle of September, I am thinking about apple picking and maybe a hayride and quite possibly a haunted house if I’m feeling brave enough.

I am thinking about watching the leaves change color and fall to the ground, and I’m thinking about apple cider and dozens of those cider donuts (seriously, so good). I am not thinking about candy canes and snow and reindeer. Why do we need to gear up for Christmas now? What’s the rush? Let’s not act like it’s going out of style. Pretty sure Christmas isn’t going anywhere.

I love you, Fall. I’m so sorry your thunder is being stolen. Don’t worry, I will resist every aspect of Christmas until my normal time, December 1st. Then, and only then, will I start listening to “A Very She & Him Christmas,” because it’s only fair. December is Christmas’ designated month, not September.

I just wanted to let you know what’s happening, my friend. I don’t mean to worry you, and I doubt you’ll have to actually fight the Christmas season in some sort of arena, but just be warned: it’s moving in on your turf.

All the best,

Rachel

(Images via here and Rachel Paige)

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