jessica tholmer
September 30, 2013 8:00 am

I am trying out a different thing this Monday because you only live once, you know? At least that is what I have told myself OFTEN this year because I have done a million things that would usually drive me nuts, but I have become a much more laid back person. Laid back Jess, 2013 edition.

For the past month, because I was in between leases, I lived in three different homes. Thank god for friends’ garages, couches, and big hearts.

So today we are not doing an Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From a movie or a television show, but from my real life. Did you guys know that we learn stuff from our real lives sometimes? I know! I didn’t know either. But then after this one, it is October! Halloween month!

EINTKILF Sleeping at Other People’s Houses

1. What a sugar glider is.
Did you guys know this already? Probably, because I pretty much never know anything about animals. But sugar gliders are related to koala bears aka they are marsupials, and they are nocturnal, and my friend has two and their names are Opal and Pearl and they are really cute, but really loud at night.

And they look like a kleenex when they spread their weird little “wings?” and fly around the cage, or rather, when they fall with style. Little Buzz Lightyears. They are amazing.

2. Scream is so 90s.
One night, I decided that my girl’s doppleganger was Neve Campbell and she was delighted because A) Neve is awesome and B) her name is Sydney in Scream! Which only matters because my girl’s name is Sydney. The obvious thing to do was to watch Scream after that conversation.

For once, my creepy knowledge of which year a movie came out in failed me. I put Scream at about 2000, but it was 1996 which means I was way too young to watch it when it came out, but that is a pretty typical thing for my family.

“What are you doing with a cellular telephone, young man?”

3. Britney Spears is still the jam.
Thank god. I mean to be perfectly honest, I have never stopped loving Britney, even when she shaved her head and everything. “Work Bitch” was released as a single recently and even without the actual video, Britney’s VEVO views were out of control. And she didn’t even have to make out with a sledgehammer or anything.

She’s still got it.

4. Don’t keep keys at the bottom of your purse.
Because you will lose them. Like a million times.

5. Pen and paper still exist.
Sigh, this is going to be such an obnoxious complaint, but do you guys know how hard it is to be a writer without a home? Carrying around my ol’ trusty pink Dell (her name is Rizzo) is really not the easiest thing in the world, but I have deadlines and stuff, you know? It’s hard out here for a pimp.

Hate to say it, but iPhones don’t always do the trick, so I have written everything that I have eventually put on the internet in a notebook first. It’s actually really sweet and refreshing and I needed this reminder, so thanks universe for not allowing me to own an iPad STILL. (Even though I would love an iPad still. Send them my way.)

6. Some shower pressures are better than others.
And my new shower is great, thanks for asking.

7. Build bridges.
I am really good at keeping connections with people and it certainly has paid off multiple times in my life.

Like when I had three weeks before I could move into my new apartment. Thanks, old friends!

8. What to keep in your purse at all times.
I am pretty much an old pro at living out of a purse, so let me help you LADIES. (Some of these apply to men too.)

At all times, you should have the following things in your purse in case of emergency:

Lip and chapstick, yoga pants, a toothbrush, a phone charger, a book, a pen, and a protein bar.

9. Parks and Rec is hilarious.
I mean, duh, but I had never watched it before! Thank god for other peoples’ televisions.

10. My friends are the best.

Seriously. The best.

Featured image via , sugar gliders image via real life, Friends image via vanityfair, Britney image via laineygossip

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