Marie Lodi
January 28, 2015 10:26 am

Thankfully for you East Coasters, the blizzard has winded down. However, it’s obviously still as cold as a polar bear’s toenail out there! If you’re wishing you could just fast-forward to summertime or you’re about to post a Missed Connection addressed to your denim shorts, I feel you. Just don’t be too bummed about having fashion fomo. You might as well make the best of this icy vortex and get totally wild with your winterwear! Bulk yourself up in cute coats. Pile on the silliest accessories. Keep warm and don’t let no blizzards, Juno or otherwise, try to stifle your cool (NO PUN INTENDED.)

We searched the Internets far and wide to find you the funkiest, and I mean THE FUNKIEST in cold-weather gear.

Pink Unicorn ski mask, $35

I want to present this unicorn ski mask without comment because you and I both can see how magical this is. We can’t get enough of anything unicorn-related. Can you imagine trudging through the snow with this on your head? I can, and Holy Mary, mother of Lisa Frank, you look beautiful.

Killer Munchies Fugly Boot, $49.99

If you’re stuck inside, you’ve probably got everything you need to become the mayor of Cozyville: ingredients for hot toddys, three different grilled cheese recipes, your “joke” One Direction Snuggie, and a Friday Night Lights marathon queue’d up and ready to go. But do you have these SNAX BOOTIES? Your ojos do not deceive, that IS a cheeseburger with three eyes on these shoes.

Supersized cowl, $92

What’s that? You want a GIANT knit scarf? How about this super-sized cowl neck scarf? The buttons are literally the size of cookies. Mmm, cookies.

Wild furry warmers, $35

Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about warming up them GAMZ, gurl. I’m imagining you (or maybe just me) walking into a room wearing these luscious faux fur leg warmers on. “Low” by Flo Rida starts playing out of nowhere. “Apple bottom jeans…boots wit da fur…”

Cthulhu ski mask, $19.98

I don’t know whether to be scared or what! This is best for all who are beardless, dudes or ladies, because it would keep our jaws extra warm!

Black knit ski mask, $100

While you’re stuck at home, why not work on a new creative project? How about a music video starring you and your friends in these avant-garde masks? All you need to do is choreograph a modern-jazz dance number and it will surely go viral.

Viking Beard Hat, $60

You can also make a Vine recreating a Viking battle!

Hand warmer pockets sweater, $62

And finally, something we all have surely been dreaming of: a sweatshirt with gloves for pockets. I feel like this is something Jeremy Scott might be doing next season. Jeremy, do you see this? What’s extra awesome is you never have to worry about losing a glove again.

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