Christina Wolfgram
November 21, 2015 8:26 am

If you’re still feeling guilty about how much you enjoyed that video where cats were traumatized by cucumbers (or if you really screwed up and tried to scare your own cat, instilling a phobia of vegetables in him for the rest of his life), then boy do I have an awesome solution for you!

This cat onesie from the Japanese company Uni-Haibitat will extinguish all negative feelings and leave you warm and fuzzy, literally. But this is no ordinary cat onesie. I mean, yes, it will turn you into a human-sized cat, with cat ears and a cat tail, but these glorious pajamas have a very special feature that will bring you and your kitty closer (as soon as he decides your apartment is a cucumber-free zone).

Behold! The cat pouch!

You are not hallucinating. That is indeed a huge pocket, big enough for cat lounging.

The “Bad Cat” onesie (which is how Google translates the Japanese name to English) comes in two different colors: black and white. According to this picture, simply putting it on will cause kitties to flock to you. You will be the Pied Piper of felines.

This onesie is perfect for anyone with a cat, or who would like to invite stray cats into her home. The sleeves end in paw-print mittens, the hood has adorable little triangle ears on it, and the ensemble is completed by pom poms and a tail, which work as cat toys. That way, you can keep one cat in your pouch and entertain at least three other cats while they wait their turn to snuggle.

Eventually, you will transform into a cat yourself:

According to Amazon, these incredible onesies cost ¥ 6,480, which is over $1,000. So it looks like it’s time to start saving up or writing really emotional letters to Santa.

Because, CAT POUCH.

(Images via Amazon, Uni-Habitat, Uni-Habitat, Uni-Habitat, and YouTube.)

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