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All you have to do is water this baby and then watch flowers bloom into an extraordinary pillar. This is the type of thing that your friends will think is some terribly complicated Pinterest DIY. Sure, tell them that. Then chuckle devilishly to yourself: Hehehehheheheheheheh.

True story: This brush is ahhh-mazing. It’s for use on wet hair, and manages to detangle your messy mane with minimal hair-pulling-outage.

Pet washing is already a dirty business with lots of moving parts. This handy grooming glove helps you suds up and wash off your furry friend. But, uh, not sure if you should really be using this on a cat. Unless you want to die.

Is this necessary for making amazing pancakes? Heck no! But it sure does look fun. Who wants pancakes? Everyone? Excellent.

What are these, even? They pull non-specific toxins out of your body through your feet and then the pads turn black? Sign me up.

It cooks and drains pasta. Why did no one think of this before?

The sequel to the Ped Egg, this baby spins to take all the dead stuff off your heels. Go nuts, kids.

We are officially over oven mitts. We are eloping with Ove Glove. Wish us luck.

::Stands in front of shoe closet, wrings hands, envisioning new empire to build::

Now we can all be urban farmers! And it comes with a “barnyard friend”? This is the bargain of the century, people.

(Images via asseenontv.com)