Kenya Foy
November 11, 2016 9:00 am
Scott Eells/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Whatever people choose to do with their toiletries in the privacy of their own homes is fine with us, but since this guy shared his toothpaste review online, we just couldn’t ignore the fact that it’s so. damn. creepy. Like, how could someone do an online review about toothpaste that has us cringing and looking around in complete befuddlement, you may ask.

Okay, so does anyone remember that mom who wrote the inspiring Facebook post about toothpaste? Well, let’s just say that this guy’s dental product dissection gives us the complete opposite feeling.

First off, let’s address the disturbing manner in which this reviewer refers to the opening of the toothpaste tube as an “orifice,” and a “nice little nozzle.”

Um, yeah. Then he gets a little *too* into squeezing the toothpaste out of the tube. Seriously, he describes it as “very sensually oozing,” and suddenly we get the feeling that some pretty freaky shit is about to go down.

Watch the full “sick” review in its entirety. Just make sure you’re not alone or in a dark room. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Okay, so who else suddenly developed a toothpaste phobia? Obviously dental hygiene is important but brushing with baking soda is looking like a plan right about now.

Advertisement