Karen Fratti
May 10, 2017 6:39 am
Amazon

Gwyneth Paltrow and the content creators over at Goop are always full of new advice about how to take care of your vagina. Earlier this year, they suggested that women put rose quartz eggs in their vagina, mainly as a replacement for Kegel exercises but also just because they bring around good energy. And no one wants any bad juju up there. Apparently, women have been using jade and rose quartz eggs to “cleanse” their vaginas for centuries.

Umm, we have questions.

According to Goop, the eggs were a “guarded secret of Chinese royalty in antiquity” as queens and concubines would use them to stay in “shape” for their male partners. The eggs are supposed to increase “chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.” In case you were curious, there’s no way to test for “feminine energy,” so there’s nothing scientific about the claim that the eggs do anything at all.

The “yoni eggs” from Goop are around $60, but you can find others on the internet for less money (much like everything else). So, are they safe? Many modern day experts say no. Dr. Jen Gunter, a gynecologist, wrote an open letter to Paltrow, warning that the jade egg recommendation was potentially dangerous.

Just because people did something in ancient times doesn’t make it safe. In fact, back then, no one probably even considered that a porous rock isn’t exactly sterile. Manufacturers of the rocks suggest boiling them before inserting (please chill before shoving it up there) or even using household liquor to sterilize it, though if you don’t wipe that clean, you could give yourself a nice burn when the booze hits your vaginal wall. You could easily give yourself an infection.

The other benefit of jade eggs is supposed to be that it strengthens your pelvic muscles. But doing Kegels, without putting a rock (let’s call it what it is) up your vaginal canal will also do the trick. Doing Kegel exercises can lead to more pleasurable sex and strengthen your pelvic floor, which is a very good thing. But you don’t need a jade or rose quartz egg to do them, no matter Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop says.

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