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Alyssa Thorne
September 23, 2016 11:11 am

Drinking to excess is bad physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, etc. You should always consume alcohol in moderation, blah blah blah, but real talk… after a long week at work, it’s reeeeally easy to turn a responsible two drinks into three or, like, twelve. When you’re having a good time with friends out on the town, it’s super easy to lose track and cross over from casually having a couple of drinks to drinking like a fish… which is usually absolutely fine until you wake up the next morning in AGONY.

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Seriously, what happens after the age of twenty-four that makes you utterly incapable of functioning the day after drinking? Inquiring minds want to know. And while we may not have an answer to that, according to NY Magscientists at Imperial College London might have a solution.

Coming within our lifetimes to a liquor store near you: “a compound called alcosynth that would mimic the positive effects of drinking booze as far as your brain is concerned and would spare you the headaches, nausea, and dry mouth that can follow.”

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David Nutt (please withhold all Nutty Professor jokes out of respect for his work — oh wait) told The Independent that he’s currently testing alcosynth compounds for widespread consumption. He hopes that alcosynth will replace alcohol by the year 2050. So basically, you won’t be drinking alcohol, you’d be drinking alcosynth, which makes you feel like you’re drunk without harming your body!

While his hopes are important, ambitious things like reducing long-term heart and liver damage caused by booze, we’re just really excited about a future without hangovers. Although less excited about being the old people shaking our heads at Kids These Days and talking about how when WE were kids, we had it so much harder…

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