Tori Coyne
May 08, 2013 5:00 am

Jump into the good ole celebrity gossip time machine with me for a second. The year is 2007 and everyone is going on and on about Britney Spears and the head shaving incident. A few months later, no one would stop talking about that awful ‘Gimme More’ performance on national television, and in between it seemed like the poor girl couldn’t step our of her house without ridicule.

I suppose it was only natural. She was kind of America’s sweetheart. Well, maybe that is a bit much. But she was charming, adorable Britney Spears! She went from Disney to ‘Baby One More Time’ to the oh-so-sexy ‘Slave for You’ bit with the snake. We watched her grow up and then we watched her spiral out of control. As much as we liked to read about her climb, the tabloids loved to talk about her decline.

Even after all her hair grew back, people were obsessed with photographing her every single move and commenting on her every inch of cellulite. But that was pre-Kim Kardashian.

Now every time I go to buy a pack of gum at CVS, I’m assaulted with images of “fat” Kim K and people barely seem to focus on Britney. There’s gossip about her I never realized went public because all eyes seem to be on dear Kim. And when it’s not Kim, it’s a Real Housewife admitting to bankruptcy or cheating or some other kind of mischief… leaving Brit the freedom to go to the gym in unflattering shorts.

The thing is: People were concerned about Britney like they are Amanda Bynes. She was a darling who seemed to turn overnight. Her fans and even her haters couldn’t stop watching, just like we all shamelessly can’t look away whenever we see police lights. But I’m not entirely sure that’s what happening with Kim.

I’d be willing to bet Kim has more haters than Britney ever had, and trust it’s the haters buying those magazines. It’s only human nature to want to see someone who’s so well-off suffer a little bit. And she’s a publicity machine. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s selling most of the stories that appear in the magazines, whereas I’m not entirely sure that was ever the case for Brit.

Quite honestly, I think the whole world of gossip has changed. So many reality TV stars are willing to open up and sell their darkest secrets to the highest bidder. They will give more info to a magazine than anyone could ever hope to get from Brit’s camp. So it’s no wonder she’s no longer selling magazines.

And Brit seems to have calmed down. She got that judging gig on X-Factor. She was engaged for a brief time and she gets along really well with her ex, K Fed. There isn’t really much juicy gossip there. I think people respect her for fighting through all those hard years and coming out with her head held high. No one wants to see her fail as much as they do Kim K. I’m not saying that’s right, but it certainly seems to be true.

After that ordeal around 2007, people are pleased to see Brit has her life together. Sure, maybe she isn’t the dancer or performer she used to be – I don’t think she’ll ever be back. But at least she has her head on straight. She seems to be living a normal life as a mom and a girlfriend. She doesn’t go on crazy social media rants or ask for the cameras to be pointed at her. I hate to say it, but she’s kind of boring in the way normal people are just sort of boring.

We’ve entered this new arena of reality TV that has totally changed the game. I know more about Brandy Glanville’s love life than I do most of my friends’. People are just really into sharing these days, I guess? So when info like that is flowing so freely, some leg fat seems pointless.

Part of me is kind of relieved that we seem to be giving attention only to those celebrities who want it and have stopped attacking those who want their private lives to remain private. As a reality TV star fan, I want to know more about the people who have already told me so much. I mean, I love me some Silver Linings Playbook, but I don’t care all that much about what Jennifer Lawrence did this weekend. Yet, I made sure to DVR the Ryan Seacrest Kardashian special.

There will always be another Britney Spears and eventually another Kim Kardashian. That is just how our society works. One train wreck rolls in after the other. We read about it for a few months until it becomes old news. In Kim’s case, she seems to have one juicy story after the next. That’s what’s kept her so relevant (and rich). You only have to care if you want to care. I’m glad we’ve left Britney alone to live her life! So keep doing you, girl. You drink those shaken iced teas. And tell Jayden “good luck” at his next soccer game for me!

Featured images: Britney via EW.com & Kim via HuffingtonPost.com

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