Oh, the life of a gluten-free eater. Goodbye warm crusty loaves of French bread and hello to all the annoying questions and frustrating moments that take its place. All gluten-intolerants and celiac disease sufferers will relate to the following things.
1. When someone asks, “So, what foods can’t you eat?”
Uhm, how long do you have to listen?
2. When people are like, “What happens when you eat gluten?”
Uhmm, you know, like, bathroom things that aren’t cute????
3. When someone asks if you actually have something wrong with you.
You think I’m enjoy refusing to eat fluffy, warm, loaves of bread? I’m gluten intolerant, not a damn martyr!
4. When you go on a date and your date chooses an Italian restaurant.
It’s cool, I’ll just chew on this ice cube and this side salad. 😑
5. When there’s a birthday party in the office and someone brings in a cake.
It’s basically monthly torture.
6. When people are like, “It’s just bread you can’t eat, right?”
Yeah, bread AND these other one zillion awesome foods.
7. When you meet someone with no intolerances who just willingly chooses to restrict their diet.
Must be nice.
8. When you find out that soy sauce isn’t gluten free.
But? Why? HOW?!
9. When you find out that some people “outgrew” their dietary restrictions over time.
PLEASE GOD, IF THERE IS A GOD, LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME!
10. When you decide to have a cheat day and eat a little bread.
You need to clear your schedule for the next 24 hours and literally HIDE OUT.
11. And when you find out that your medication might contain gluten.
What fresh hell is this?!