If you think about it, “vagina” is a pretty funny name on its own. But still, it’s a name that a lot of people have a hard time saying out loud. So, instead, we’ve resorted to calling it a slew of things that are ridiculous and silly, but also pretty funny.
In fact there are so many funny names for “vagina,” there’s a whole monologue about it in Eve Ensler’s famous play, The Vagina Monologues. In it, Ensler lists regional terms, like “mimi” and “schmende,” food names, such as “split knish” and “tamale,” and even ones that just make no sense — “possible” and “fanny boo,” for instance.
Perhaps your family had its own funny names for “vagina,” or you heard one from a friend when you were a kid. Or maybe you’ve created your own ~alternate~ word because you just can’t get comfortable with “vagina,” or want an option that’s not quite so clinical.
If you’re looking for some funny names for vagina that don’t involve saying the word “vagina,” then here are some ridiculous terms for our “lady bits” that will make you laugh, if nothing else.
Popularized by the gals on Broad City, this term sounds either like a weird fruit or a badass superhero.
Who knew a sea creature was so not sexy? (Everyone.)
Miranda Lambert sang about. Why is it red? Is it irritated? Inflamed? Well, either way, we won’t look at our childhood mode of transportation the same.
Remember when Lady Gaga wore them at the Grammy’s? HA!
As Rachel told Monica, if you keep calling it that, no one’s going to take it.
That’s a fuzzy mouthful.
Here’s looking at you, kid.
Start your engines. LOL.
Sounds like a cute Muppet.
Again with the sea references!
Well, it IS a delicious food…
Go ahead and push it. PUSH IT REAL GOOD.
Do you think Winnie the Pooh would… never mind.
Sorry, beavers, for being called vaginas. You’re cute animals that don’t look anything like vaginas.
French Fry Dip
Literally made us laugh out loud. And made us crave cheese fries.
It’s a trip you’ll never forget!
What? Why? Who you calling a hippo and YOU BEST NOT BE YAWNING!
Fingers are good. Hands can be a bit aggressive.
Cave of Wonders
X marks the spot.
Hey, if it’s good enough for Oprah…
What else you got, kids?