It is an endless debate. Is it possible to be friends with someone you are potentially attracted to? There is no simple answer. Do you put aside your attraction to be friends? Do you just forget about it? But then, what happens the day it all comes flooding back to you unexpectedly?
I used to think this kind of friendship was possible. There is no relationship that seems more genuine and tender than this one. From the outside they look like a couple – laughing together, smiling at each other, unable to be apart for too long. Asking for each other’s opinion before doing anything. Taking care of each other, being there when life is fun and when it’s less fun. Telling each other absolutely everything.
Yet, people keep asking “Are you guys together?” You are used to that question. You act surprised, you look at each other, you laugh one more time and you say “What, us? Naaahhhh”.
Your parents want you to end up together. Even your over protective older brother wants it. Your best friend too, your friend, your grandma, the cashier at the grocery store after an umpteenth meal together… everyone seems to find it is the most natural thing in the world.
Then one day the penny drops. No warning “Hey, be careful you are falling in love.” Yet you’re falling, and you’re falling hard. Questions spark in your little anguished head:
Why wouldn’t we give it a try?
Why do I feel like I belong right here in his arms?
How come I want to spend my all days with him and no one else?
Why do I feel like a princess whenever he looks at me?
If I cannot date my best friend then who is good enough for me?
We know everything about each other, what could ruin our relationship?
Why am I so sure he is a good kisser?
And most importantly, does he like me back? Will he ever?
As those questions spark I start thinking we will obviously end up together at some point. I know nothing could be less certain, yet I feel it in my toes – it will happen. If not tomorrow then next year and if not, the year after that (you’re saying I am too influenced by When Harry met Sally? Nope). Because I have this feeling, if I realized after a year of pure friendship I am in love, then he can realize it too, anytime.
Or is it just that I couldn’t cope if it didn’t happen?
We can only wait and see.
Did the same thing happen to you?
Have you ever dated your best friend?
Do you believe in friendship between men and women?
I think such a friendship is possible. But you have to set boundaries – if you get too close, love can catch you and not let you go until you give in.
Lucy lives in France and studies law. She loves romance movies and novels and she sometimes tries to write some herself, but she never finishes them unfortunately! She is eighteen and she doesn’t know yet what she wants to do for a living. She will seize opportunities.
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