Laura Donovan
April 25, 2014 1:30 pm

When it comes to food, it doesn’t take much to gross me out. Though I love adventurous treats such as fois gras and Moussaka, concepts bother me a ton and I’m pretty closed off to the overrated idea of “trying new things.” No thanks, eating micromanagers.

But even those who aren’t finicky like me would agree some foods simply have no place in our world. That’s how I feel about Haagen-Dazs Japan’s new vegetable ice cream, which is a terrible, non-creative way of getting kids, or anyone for that matter, to scarf down their veggies. I stand by the belief that sweets should stay sweets and healthy stuff should remain as healthy as possible (even though I love drowning green beans in butter and salt), so here are a couple foods that just don’t sit well with me.

10. Vegetable ice cream

I’d rather give up dessert forever than even begin to imagine what this must taste like. Pass!

9. Sea Urchin

Many foods aren’t as bad as they might seem on the surface, and while I had this experience with sea urchin, it wasn’t for me. Salmon is amazing and clam chowder can be splendid, but this food comes from a spiky little ball in the ocean. I may not be restaurant expert Jonathan Gold, but I’m not keen on the words “spiky” and “food” appearing in the same sentence, so count me out of the sea urchin eating club.

8. Mussels

I see “mussels” and “muscles” come to mind, and for that alone, I choose to avoid these things. Association goes a long way.

7. Bacon ice cream sundae

Yes, Burger King’s bacon sundae looks much better than the veggie ice cream above, but I’ve never been sold on the “sweet n’ salty” trend. Keep ice cream a dessert item and bacon a breakfast item. Of course, both of these things are amazing at any hour of the day, I just don’t want either to lose their awesomeness by a disastrous collaboration. Elizabeth Gunnison Dunn at Esquire tried it two years ago and wasn’t sold herself, “My overwhelming reaction was disappointment. Friends, I’m sorry to report that the Bacon Sundae is basically just your standard Burger King sundae with a little bacon on top.”

6. Pineapple cream cheese

Really, though, what is the point of this?

5. Blood soup and maggot cheese

The name alone makes me want to dry heave, but props to those in Sardinia who love it!

4. Wheatgrass juice

This photo screams “healthy,” but I’d prefer a somewhat sugary spinach smoothie than blended grass. If you can get past the smell, you’ll probably swallow this without gagging. If not, plug your nose and pretend you’re drinking lemonade.

3. Placenta

Mad Men actress January Jones attests eating placenta is a “very civilized thing which can help women with depression and fatigue,” and while she’s not the only celebrity to jump on this band wagon, there are easier ways and tastier foods that can help moms recover from any post-pregnancy issues they may face.

2. Pig feet

I’m not above or against consuming animals, and while this is considered a southern specialty, I cannot under any circumstances overlook its appearance, hence I’d chosen not to use an accurate image for this list. Swine are known to be messy, and even though their feet are cooked, I don’t want to think about where they’ve been. I just want to think about Babe. 

1. Tongue

Lengua is very chewy. Some people are into this, but the texture makes me feel sick, and tongue-on-tongue action isn’t fun unless you’re making out, in my humble, closed-minded dinner table opinion.

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What foods feel wrong to you? Do you agree or disagree with any of my picks? Share in the comments section.

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