A #TransformationTuesday post is going totally viral, but not in a way you’d expect. In a post on her blog, Real Life Recovery Diary, a woman named Amanda Tarlton posted a #TransformationTuesday this week — however, she’s much thinner in the “after” picture and the transformation doesn’t instill her with pride.
“If you knew nothing about me, you’d probably look at that picture and think ‘wow she looks great!’ You’d congratulate me, tell me how awesome I am, say you envied my dedication,” she wrote in the blog post. “I’ve been told my body is ‘goals’ and received comments on how tiny I am. People ask me how I did it, in hopes I’ll reveal some great secret they can copy.”
Amanda went on to note that thinness is a “sign of health” in our society. “We assume if someone lost weight, they must be healthier,” she wrote. “That it’s always something to be celebrated. An achievement, a mark of success. But for me (and for many other women), a thinner body does not mean a healthier body. In fact, it means the exact opposite.”
The body on the right, she said, was the result of an eating disorder — from “starving day after day, from slowly destroying myself. It’s a body without a regular menstrual cycle, with osteopenia in its bones, with a weak heart and all sorts of other damage I’m not even aware of.”
Amanda has the body she had “always dreamed of” — and it’s brought so much unhappiness her life, she wrote. “While my #TransformationTuesday picture might get hundreds of likes on Instagram, while I’m hit on a lot more at bars now, while I’ve achieved what many people dream of, I’m not proud,” she wrote. “I don’t want to be the girl on the right anymore. I don’t want to be starving and lifeless all to be the hot girl. I would give anything to be the girl on the left again.”
To be the girl on the left was a better life, Amanda wrote:
We applaud Amanda Tarlton for her honesty and speaking out about such an important issue in such a raw, real way.
“One day I’ll be the girl on the left again,” she wrote. “Not necessarily in size, but in spirit. In joy, in happiness, in heart.“