Julia Prescott
November 19, 2015 5:55 pm

America doesn’t run on Dunkin — it runs on burritos. Maybe burritos AND pizzas (and OK, maybe Dunkin, too), but that’s apples and oranges for two foods that have greater cult followings than The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

For many of us, once we get that bundle of joy (and rice, and beans, and cheese, and YUMMMM) in our  hands, diving in is the only option. Whether you’re a face-first kind of gal, a fork-and-knife kind of guy, or a “just gimme gimme gimme” kind of beans-and-cheese afficianado, it might be shocking to know that you’ve been doing it wrong this entire time. No, really. 

According to this one dude, a burrito ain’t a burrito if it’s not getting ya’ messy. Oooh, burn! What does he suggest? Cradling it by the “ass” of the burrito and “treating it like a lady.” Uploaded by his brother on reddit to a post titled, “This is apparently how my brother passes the time when he has a week off between jobs,” the video is kind of life-changing.

In this mildly sexist video (ugh, could we go without the sexual innuendos, please?), this bro gives us a step-by-step explanation for why he makes out with meat and cheese more than he does human people — er, I mean — why we should follow his lead so we don’t look like food fools.

Regardless of whether or not this is deemed legit by Miss Manners, one thing’s for sure: I’m hungry and it’s lunch time somewhere.

(Image and video via iStock)

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