The saying is true – we all scream for ice cream. Especially if it’s Ben & Jerry’s. These two marvelous men have brought us delicious combinations that have both satisfied our sweet tooth, and our quest of eating a pint of ice cream with Jimmy Fallon’s face on it. Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey – who actually inspired a 30 Rock frozen yogurt – aren’t the only SNL alum to be featured flavors. Ben & Jerry’s just announced two new ice creams that’ll be added to the lineup, in honor of SNL’s 40th anniversary this year. Hopefully they’ll be around a bit longer than 2011’s “Schweddy Balls” limited release.
Get ready for Lazy Sunday, based on the famous digital short with Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell, which will contain a vanilla cake batter ice cream base with chocolate and yellow cupcake pieces and a chocolate frosting swirl (“Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes!”), and Gilly’s Catastrophic Crunch, based on Kristen Wiig‘s recurring character. The flavor contains a marshmallow swirl “as frantic and mischievous as the flavor’s namesake,” according to Ben and Jerry, encompassed by chocolate and sweet cream ice cream, with caramel clusters and fudge-covered almonds. Crazy delicious.
But that’s not it – the brand will be releasing two more SNL-themed flavors this year. While I’m sure they’re already in the works with the remaining two, here are some ideas I’d love to see that truly represent SNL at its finest.
1. Stefon’s “This Ice Cream Has Everything!”
Just imagine what ice cream could include that’d make it the hottest ice cream around. Decapitated gummy bears with relatives who seek revenge, chocolate swirls just looking to let loose, a ghost, aged Girl Scout cookies with nothing to hide, and Steve Buscemi’s tears? Maybe. No matter what, if Stefon’s endorsing it, I’m eating it.
2. Matt Foley’s “Vanilla Down By The River”
By watching Chris Farley do what he did best – physical comedy – you’re guaranteed to laugh. This epic sketch was popular back then, and is still frequently quoted today. For a motivational speaker, Matt was awfully insulting and loud – but it makes sense, if you’re “35 and thrice divorced.”
I imagine the Matt Foley ice cream to be vanilla based, with cookie dough pieces. Hopefully there wouldn’t be a way to replicate the “government cheese” Matt’s diet was based on, even though if any two people could find a way to incorporate cheese into ice cream, it’d be Ben and Jerry.
3. DeAndre Cole’s “What Up With That?”
Oh gosh, I miss this sketch. Sure, the premise was the same every time – Kenan breaking into song, Jason Sudeikis dancing in a track suit, and his guest stars – especially Lindsey Buckingham – getting ignored in the process. I imagine “What Up With That?” ice cream including a crazy mixture of oddness. Perhaps the base would be a coffee ice cream, to express the enthusiasm and energy of the sketch, mixed with chocolate chips, pretzels, and – hey, is there fruit in here, too? That’s kind of gross. What up with that?
4. Jebediah Atkinson’s “Bored Vanilla”
It takes a lot to please Taran Killam’s recurring Weekend Update character Jebediah Atkinson. In fact, he seems to hate almost everything that attempts to be creative. Don’t even ask him about what he thinks of holiday movies and plays, unless you want to get hit in the face with an index card. Thus, Jebediah would get a classic vanilla. I’m sure anything extra would cause a bunch of unnecessary distress.
5. Miley’s Cyrus’s “It’s Pretty Cool ‘Cream”
Sigh. I miss the days when Vanessa Bayer portrayed a young, pre-Wrecking Ball Miley. The fictional Miley would resort back to her Disney days while concocting her ice cream, so it’d probably be a raspberry base with chocolate covered banana chips. Or in Miley-speak, “Like, how about raspberries, and, like, what goes with raspberries, and, like, how many fruits can you put in a pint, and, like, how is ice cream made, and, like, how many boys have you kissed?” Billy Ray would be supportive no matter what.
6. Brecky the Former Porn Star’s “Ides Cream”
Vanessa Bayer and Cecily Strong make this recurring sketch funny every time, based on solid writing and amazing dedication to the bit. The two have tried to advertise for numerous products, like hand bags and Swarovski (or is it “Sabosky?”) Crystals, in hopes of getting free samples. I hope that they eventually scored themselves some “Manuel Blondicks” and “Lambortini” cars, since they definitely worked hard for them.
Spellcheck is going to love me for this one but: Brecky’s ides cream would probably include some Karmel Popcarn, Peanats, Yagurt Raizins, and maybe an old band-aid or two. Those two are just a bit questionable to me.
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