Gina Florio
June 23, 2016 1:20 pm

What good is summer if you don’t get your butt to a state fair and experience the deep fried goodness that is fair food? We live in a pretty advanced world, which means the options at our fingertips are only more complex and delightful than ever before (like, did you know S’mores Beer was a thing one year?!). Of course, before you arrive to any fair, you know going in that this is gonna be the most unhealthy thing you probably do all year — and that’s totally okay. We all deserve a little (or big) splurge every now and again, so you might as well go all in and enjoy every second of it.

Here are 10 of the most intense foods you can find at a state fair this year.

1. Double Bacon Corn Dog

This is a good place to start. Anything deep fried with bacon is a winner at any state fair. Iowa is the place to get your hands on this bad boy, and I’d imagine you’d need an anti-acid pill of sorts after you’ve polished it off. It was first introduced in 2012, but it has since become a staple, so it’s available this year as well.

It’s pretty much what you’d expect. It’s a hot dog wrapped in bacon, then deep-fried and refrigerated. Finally, it’s covered in a batter with bacon bits. All thanks to Campbell’s Concessions of Des Moines. Apparently, the whole thing is only 498 calories, but it’s the sodium that gets you. 1,605 mg of it! Drink some water after!

2. Ice Cream Burger

An ice cream burger?! I’m not sure of anything anymore. Florida featured this concotion at their state fair this year. As you can see, it’s a juicy hamburger patty topped with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion. On top of all that you’ll find a scoop of vanilla ice cream that’s coated in little crunchy pieces. All between a buttery bun.

The Florida State Fair has said straight-up that they don’t have any nutritional information for this menu item yet because it’s so new. So let your imagination run wild. Or, you know, don’t.

3. Candied Bacon Donut Slider

Thank you, Minnesota. Thank you. This is a 2016 newcomer, so once again we can’t say how many calories are in those angelic clouds of sweet and salty perfection. What we can tell you is that they’re made with thick candied bacon, topped with a chocolate red wine ganache, stuffed between sliced glazed donut holes. Yes please to seconds.

4. The Defibrillator

We must admit that it’s not confirmed yet whether this hunk of a burger will be available again at the New York state fair, but we can’t imagine why they would deprive the world of such a thing. The Defibrillator is a cheeseburger with deep fried pickles and deep fried bacon, set in between two grilled cheese sandwiches. Naturally. Are you ready to handle all 1,605 calories? Of course you are, ’cause baby you’re a firework, as Katy Perry would say.

5. Spam Sushi

Okay, so this one isn’t as, um, filling as the other choices, but it’s intense in its own league. I mean, guys, come on, it’s spam. Spam sushi. Minnesota has gone all out for the 2016 state fair, and this is one of their new creations. You got grilled spam and fried egg tucked in between some rice and seaweed. I’d like to say I’d try it… but I’m not 100 percent sold on it.

Spam musubi, which I’m guessing is what this dish is loosely based off of, is about 265 calories per serving. So you could choose this as your healthier option. Or just make this your appetizer and leave everything else as the main attraction.

6. Funnel Cake Burger

Let’s get ready to rumble!!!!! It was reported that the Funnel Cake Burger in Wisconsin clocked in at a record-breaking 3,500 calories. Wowzas. I suppose that’s your ball park for the version that was available a the Florida state fair this year. Two funnel cakes wrapped a huge beef patty, cheese, bacon, lettuce, and ketchup. I triple dog dare you.

7. Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger

Clocking at an impressive 1,500 calories, the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger (a California state fair native), is a wonderful reminder that there is still good left in the world. Two decadent, original glazed Krispy Kreme donuts envelop a beef patty, bacon, and cheese. Definitely worth a road trip — or maybe even a cross-country flight.

8. Sweetheart Doughnut

How darling! The name is almost so innocent you think it’ll be a breeze. But I have a feeling this one packs a big punch. The Amish Baking Company is responsible for bringing this new recipe to the Florida state fair, and because it’s so brand-spanking new, there isn’t any nutritional information for it.

From what I can tell, it’s a honkin’ doughnut (maybe jelly filled?!) topped with chocolate sauce, glazed strawberries, and a whole lot of whipped cream. Sounds like the most balanced breakfast a state fair can offer.

9. Deep-Fried Oreos

Don’t let the size fool you. One serving of Deep-Fried Oreos, which usually comes in a tray with 3-5 of them, is about 890 calories. I can’t imagine any other way I’d like to spend 890 of my hard-earned calories, can you? Find them at Indiana this year, among many other states, I’m sure.

10. Bacon Bomb Explosion

I don’t know what’s happening her, but, frankly, it frightens me a little. This was the people’s choice burger for the 2016 Florida state fair. You ready for the description? You should probably sit down for this. It’s a ground chuck burger with ranch, BBQ sauce, and a secret seasoning. On top of that you’ll find bacon crumbles, hickory smoked bacon patties, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and pickles, all on a Kaiser roll. No caloric info available here either. Maybe don’t wear a white t-shirt when you eat it.

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