Hannah Woodard
April 11, 2015 10:53 am

I have never understood why people do juice cleanses. Sure it’s supposed to make you feel good after, but it also has horrible side effects like hanger (hungry anger). However, I never like to rule out a trend before I try it, so this past Sunday I decided to embark on a 1-day juice cleanse with my best friend.

You would think that 24 hours without food is no biggie. I mean, most of us skip breakfast and are too busy to remember lunch, but there is something psychologically trying about telling yourself you can’t have food. I am sure everyone’s experiences with cleanses are different and some people sing praises about the process, but I had my own unique journey with 24-hours of nothing but juice.

We did a cleanse involving five different types of juice. First off, there is only one drink out of the five that I thought was any good: the coconut, almond, and soy milk blend. The rest of the drinks are supposed to taste good, but really taste like chunky pealed vegetable remnants—at least to me. They never put in enough apple, and there is always too much cayenne and ginger.

Now if you like Bloody Marys perhaps this experience is easier for you. Mine on the other hand consisted of nose plugging gulps, pained facial expressions, and sounds from the Jurassic theme park. All I can tell you is that my dog seemed frightened. And somewhere in between juice 2 and 3 I started to lose it.

All things considered, I was only 3 hours in, but everything made me angry and sleepy. It is a bad combination when you are working on a weekend. It got to the point where my friend, father, and, I would also assume, dog encouraged me to eat something, if only for the sake of keeping my job.

Keep in mind, this is all before 5pm on a Sunday.

I tried to look strong for my friend, while at the same time searching for a half-chicken on Seamless. After all, she is so disciplined, I couldn’t give up (mostly because she wouldn’t let me). So, when we got news about the impending blizzard, I told her I needed to go to my apartment to gather clothes and supplies for the storm. Five minutes out the door and I cracked, but, to be fair, the whole city smells like food!

Yes, my name is Hannah and I made it 5 hours and 4 juices into a cleanse before quitting. Much to my relief, my friend had caved too.

Now kids, what is the moral of the story? The moral is, it takes 7 years, 5 hours, 1 cleanse, 4 juices, and a burger to show you who your best friends are. They are the people for whom you do crazy things with (and sometimes for), while remembering you both love food too much to give it up for more than a couple of hours.

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