When you order a cup of coffee, you expect . . . well, a mug filled with coffee. Maybe it’s black coffee, and you put the milk and sugar in yourself. Maybe it’s a coffee drink that already has it mixed in. But when writer Jamila Rizvi went to a cafe in Melbourne, she received something she didn’t expect — “deconstructed” coffee, or milk, boiled water, and coffee in three separate beakers.
“Sorry Melbourne but no. No no no no no,” Jamila wrote on Facebook, along with a picture of the three beakers. “Hipsterism has gone too far when your coffee comes deconstructed. I just waited almost 20 minutes for an actual cup before realising [sic] it would not be forthcoming. . . I’ll just get a chopping board with a bunch of actual coffee beans and an upside down hat on it.”
The Facebook post has been shared almost 5,000 times since Jamila initially posted it on Tuesday, with thousands more comments poking fun at the “hipster” deconstructed coffee. To the credit of the cafe, its manager, Lisa Wearmouth, says it’s meant for “coffee snobs” and “picky drinkers.”
“[For] a lot of people, you’ll put it on the table and they’ll say, ‘Wow,'” Lisa told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. “We’ve never really had anyone complain about it. If someone came in and asked for it in a cup, we’d have no problem putting it in a cup.”
However, that hasn’t stopped social media from having a total field day. One comment with over 3,700 likes reads:
Others are even trying to “deconstruct” their fave drinks:
And still others are pointing out that they’ve been doing deconstructed coffee for ages. . . by, ya know, making coffee.
That said: hey, if you want some deconstructed coffee, all the power to you! We totally get that some with finer palettes may want to put it together themselves, but we’ll take our coffee constructed — please and thank you.